Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML
Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
domking1315 20
Man knows what he wants
cyanidesandwich 21
All I want for my birthday are big booty hoes...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
manimitsu 6
did he say "a big booty ho" if so he was only quoting a song.
tnlander 20
That's funny because I ask for the same thing every year
ar2ag3on 4
that's not cool at all. ******* kids now a days..
DJviper_fml 5
you **** kids? wtf....
kirasant 19
I had to vote ydi cus you raised this twat waffle. Good job. Can't wait till he's in highschool. You should probably get a lawyer on retainer now.
bayy1432 14
whether he was kidding or not the younger generations are so much more "mature" and sexual and it's quite disturbing to see. Please have a talk with him OP.
AcieMcG 21
Is his name Tyrion?
Zomg_Okay 27
Where do ****** go?
CaptainRR 20
He's got his priorities straight
Ilikepie82479 20
You probably deserve it; although, there's not enough information to be able to tell if it is or not, so I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt
nsrigiri 7
He could have told that to his friends but not you, aaah so embarrassing ?
Sansa_fml 38
get him a barbie!