Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML
Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
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Top comments
domking1315 20
Man knows what he wants
cyanidesandwich 21
All I want for my birthday are big booty hoes...
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Comments (135)
supasupa 1
Hes gonna be a stupid asshole dude like the most of them are when he grows up
captainsmegma 12
Get him a clean one.
worldclassrager 41
Starting off early...I guess wolf of Wall Street would be a good example of what can happen maybe get an edited version
Jst4kicks 16
atta boy
nitrog100 21
Florida. Enough said.
alex101676 8
you should feel relieved. he was being honest and at his age feeling normal. that's what I wanted from age 10 to now. except now I want a high priced "Escort".
lalaney 14
YDI for teaching your son to view women that way.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Hopfully youve have the birds and bees talk with him by now.
fucktheops 3
my dude..
thes7274473 19
Twelve year olds... Those little ******* twelve year olds