Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML
Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
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Top comments
domking1315 20
Man knows what he wants
cyanidesandwich 21
All I want for my birthday are big booty hoes...
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Comments (135)
kitten1800 18
Children are growing up so fast these days, it's crazy.
LittleBells 17
It's a 6th Grade boy. What do you expect?
stronghand0331 17
It's a 6th grade boy... We shouldn't expect that he wants a *****.
kitten1800 18
When I was in middle school no one was that bad. Or maybe I was just oblivious to everything and boys have always been that bad. I dunno o.o
PenguinBitch 44
You're right. Kids are growing up so fast. When I was his age, I was eleven.
Mortoli 30
Lol I learned f word in third grade didn't know what it meant but said it right to my mom. Plus when I was in high school heard a 6th grader cussing so this "*****" thing only matter of time soon kids will be talkin bout well use your imagination. lol I blame school systems it gets more advanced as years go by parents can't keep up they turn out not knowing what's right or wrong then start influencing they kids. Lol soon elementary schools gonna be teaching college grade stuff. And that's when stuff gonna get real screwy. though I one to talk Italians will say literally anything in front of any kid they don't care lol.
Leprekhaun 14
Just show him pictures of STDs that you can get from promiscuous sex and watch the horror in his eyes grow! >:)
RedPillSucks 33
Tell him to google Blue Waffle
weveallbeenthere 30
now I'm going to have to Google that.
weveallbeenthere 30
sorry I did.
EternalRest 5
Don't worry #30, we've all been there.
redneck_wolf 19
"That's my boy!"
cole_tyler42 21
But did you get him one? one?
MrSassypants 34
That extra one might be a typo, but I hope it was intended. The idea of a parent buying their child not only one, but multiple ****** is hilarious to me for some reason.
vikky538 29
good at least he did not ask for a hole...
Jameslikesguys 13
to much CoD
driftsenses 3
You raised him well
brendejafulable 41
big booty ho
killer0689 20
are u ??
teashock 5
That's not cute. Set him straight.
MikeyScene420 17
He should call my mom lol she's the biggest ***** on the planet
SystemofaBlink41 27
LOL! Bringing personal problems into a public website where no one can possibly know what you're talking about! Hilarious!
ChristianH39 30
Pretty sure fml is literally based entirely around anecdotes from people's personal lives... not that I'm defending 25.