By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I am pregnant, sober, designated driver, and puke cleaner. Yay for the New Year! FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 694
You deserved it 7 383

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well if your pregnant you shouldn't be drinkin anyway. and if your the sober one it only makes sense to be the DD. the only FMLish part is the opuke cleaner.

Well, the pregnant -> sober -> designated driver, but you should be clever enough to convince your baby daddy that you can't be the puke cleaner. Tell him he has to clean up his own puke or HIS CHILD WILL DIE! Give him some jibber-jabber about toxoplasmosis -- he'll be too drunk to look at Wikipedia.

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wow that sucks

What in the name of Ralph Waldo Emerson are you talking about? What does Hitler have to do with anything? "Aside from that things change?" What does that even mean? For your sake I will assume you snorted Listerine and curry powder just prior to commenting, so please try to be coherent before you try posting again.

who forced her to go out partying and get laid?

Your own fault for being pregnant.

what?? i don't see a problem here you're being a good friend. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

yeah and stop pouting because pregnant women shouldnt drink. youre doing your kid a favour so dont complain.

that would make cleaning up the puke the fml here.

honestly, I think it's stupid when women who are pregnant try to throw a pity party for themselves because they can't drink. you are the reason you are pregnant, therefore get over it. if you wanted to drink on such occasions you should have thought about having unprotected sex- or even sex in general. :)

Good grief Nikki, you are very narrow minded.

yea Nikki but if the woman wants a baby and still wants to drink they don't really have a choice

well, at least you rang in the new year with friends!

ydi for being preggers... should have put a rubber on it...

u no maybe she actually wanted a child. u wouldn't say that to your mom would u. well maybe u would cuz u sound like an asshole

Yea total douchebag. Be careful dude karma is real, one day you may want a kid of your own and won't be able to have one, or one that isn't retarded or six-fingered. I'll say a prayer for you though. Keep your mouth shut and your mind open and you may still have a chance.

Every pregnant woman complains about being pregnant. Whether it was planned or not. It's nine months of pain.

Everyone knows it's 9 months of pain, if you don't wanna deal with it, don't get knocked up. No one cares for a person complaining about something they willingly did to themselves.

Well, the pregnant -> sober -> designated driver, but you should be clever enough to convince your baby daddy that you can't be the puke cleaner. Tell him he has to clean up his own puke or HIS CHILD WILL DIE! Give him some jibber-jabber about toxoplasmosis -- he'll be too drunk to look at Wikipedia.

as if the BABY WOULD DIE wouldn't be doing him a favor. I mean just look at how much he cares about his preggers baby momma.

Suck it up, sister. I rang in the New Years sober, alone with 3 kids, and worried about my husband fighting in Afghanistan. Whom, by the way I hadn't spoken to since Christmas. Our last baby, I was pregnant, suffering gestational diabetes, sober, and alone while my husband completed another school.

shut up about your husband being. a solider he didn't get drafted, he chose to go dumbass

73- your as bad as op. Initiating a pity party. Its a tough world out there and there is no time for your pity party. I dont mean to sound inconsiderate but life is life. It gives, it takes, builds you up, throws you down hard. All you had to say was the normal "deal with it" instead of trying to rob all the pity for yourself, because i honestly doubt 97% of the world doesnt give a f**k about your events. At least you have a husband and not single. Think about all other singles out there with kids. Husbands could of been killed. But, doesnt matter to you does it? You are just trying to take all the pity for yourself.

Good luck with raising the child!

Yeah, seriously, if you're complaining about cleaning up vomit, you've got a shit ton more where that came from heading your way with that baby.

Stop whining. You apparently have friends, a New Years party to go to, a drivers license and an alien in your belly. And on top of that, you get to clean vomit! I'd say this is going to be a great year.

well if your pregnant you shouldn't be drinkin anyway. and if your the sober one it only makes sense to be the DD. the only FMLish part is the opuke cleaner.

Thanks very much for deciphering this very complex FML. I would never have been able to figure that all out without your assistance. My thanks be unto you, Captain Obvious, er, Pat.

Everything she listed is FML-worthy, not just that she had to clean up puke. Watching other people having a great time while she HAS to stay sober is awful. Have you been around drunk people when you haven't been drinking? No one is on your wavelength. The fact that she was designated driver means she had to stick around and wait for everyone getting a lift with her to be done partying before she could head home and get into bed. Being pregnant is tiring stuff. OP was probably ready to crawl into bed long before midnight.

24 Yes, I have. 5 days a week. (: OP is pregnant and shouldn't be drinking regardless. Drinking doesn't equal having a good time. You still get to be around friends- hearing their stories, listen to music, eat, dance etc... When you're ready to head home, it's on your terms. The only problem is the puke cleaning. And that would be done the next day by "that person". Not I. Btw I'm always the DD and part of it is being in control before things get out of control.(:

the think the main fml part of it is that she has to do all this pregnant, she was probably exausted and sore and nauseous, not fun

@38. Of course drinking doesn't equal having good a time, and I'm sure the party was wonderful at the beginning of the night. But, as is normal for most New Years Parties, the closer it got to midnight, the more out of hand it got and having to deal with all those people when you're the only sober one, never mind that you're already dead tired and crabby, sucks. It's not that you want to have a drink, you just want to be able to relate and not feel so left out. As for "going home on your terms"... I can almost guarantee you that the OP was ready to go home at 9pm. Was she supposed to kill the party and drag her partner and/or friends home before even seeing midnight? Of course, by that time it's not just a simple "everyone jump in the car, let's go". No, now shoes and cellphones and the like need to be found. Messes need to be cleaned. All passangers accounted for. Etc. Etc. (And I think it's safe to assume it was THAT kind of party because there was puke to be cleaned). I completely empathise with the OP, because this was me last year, except for the DD part because the party was at my house.

Then don't get pregnant next time, and you'll get to drink all you want for new years.