Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML
Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML
Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML
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Top comments
botanistjessica 24
I think I'd have stopped helping her after the first time. And definitely by the second!
peve3 12
Fool you once, shame on her. Fool you twice, shame on you. Anything after two is just taking advantage of you.
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Comments (66)
laurbear87 8
Sweet vocab bro
onedayinamsterda 14
She might have been copping a feel... Haha
amoredeniro 21
Anyone else have to use the dictionary?
syed121417 22
I would've still helped her, but then again I'm not a guy. You had really sweet intentions and you did help her, OP. You're a nice guy
middlenamefrank 8
Really? Three thumps in the balls and you still couldn't take a hint?
fatkidfalling 11
3 times?!?!? You must have balls if steel!
azisles02 17
YDI. First hit, okay is an accident & ask her to be more careful. Second? I'd grab the cane & throw it far as I could and tell her get it yourself as I leave. Balls are more important than helping rude old people.
Dark_Stream 29
I can see them sitting around the lodge later, sipping their early bed time glasses of Metamucil and telling stories. Mildred says, "I got 3 boy scouts with my cane today". Hazel comes back with, "Got you beat. I whacked one three times. Bet he's still walking funny."
guyssite 4
I'm trying to figure out how in the heck she managed to get anywhere near your balls with her cane. There is literally no way that I can imagine that actually happening unless your balls were somewhere that they really should never have been. "Helping her across the street" should not have involved your balls being that close.
WeskersSexslave 15
you shoulve left her in the middle of a green light