Today, I determined that the only reason I still have a membership to my gym is that the special gummy bears they have in the vending machines are amazing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the "free" protein bars at my gym are actually for a fundraiser for children's cancer. I've been taking one every day for the past two weeks. FML
Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML
Today, I was looking online at the gym memberships in my neighborhood, because I'm getting old and unfit. As I was looking at the prices, thanks to some well-placed advertisement magic, I found myself ordering a pizza, then binge-watching Netflix. It seems that motivation is just a click away, but pizza is my kryptonite. FML
Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML
Today, as I'd been going to a gym with my wife as a guest on her account, I joined as a regular member. However, before I had time to go under my own membership, the gym closed down due to the coronavirus. FML
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
Today, at the gym, I attempted to deadlift after binge eating ice cream last night. I need new underwear. FML
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I decided to finally use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML
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Top comments
abbyade 21
Lol eat the gummy bears on a bike or whilst carrying some weights. Make it work for you. You have got this!!
runswithlions 3
Oh c'mon, this is pure win! You get to munch down on some awesome ass candy and work out! Get your butt off fml, stuff that face with gummies and get on that treadmill! You definitely got this! ;)
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Comments (18)
mattyiscool123 26
If it convinces you to go to the gym, then they must be the best
abbyade 21
Lol eat the gummy bears on a bike or whilst carrying some weights. Make it work for you. You have got this!!
MissMizery 19
Well i mean so long as you're working out then buying the bears i dont see a problem. Everyone has their own special motivation.
runswithlions 3
Oh c'mon, this is pure win! You get to munch down on some awesome ass candy and work out! Get your butt off fml, stuff that face with gummies and get on that treadmill! You definitely got this! ;)
Laphog 17
Getting high revolutionizes your workouts. Keep eating those bears.
URBeingLied2 23
Your joints will thank you!
OuttaYouIntoMe 6
Are these "special" gummy bears?
RichardPencil 32
Run!!! They are full of steroids!
mcdgaf 14
Never give up the dream.
danzig_graves 25
hey, if it keeps you going, who can judge? : )
davek 36
I hope they're not the sugar free ones, because those have certain... digestive effects.