By PaintedDoll - 20/06/2016 03:12 - United States
PaintedDoll tells us more.
Hey guys OP here. For a little back story the call was from my mother (I thought I put that in there). She has been married to her husband for about a year and they dated for about a year before that. I don't really see him except for holidays, because I've been living on my own since before they met. I didn't call him because he has his own children from a previous relationship, so I assumed he was spending time with them.
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I think that step-parents can truly embody being mothers and fathers, but after one year and at age 25? Seems totally reasonable that you didn't call.
To be honored on fathers day, you have to actually HAVE BEEN A FATHER. If you didn't raise a kid, or help raise a kid, you aren't a father. Although there is a certain cunning in trying to get a fathers day gift from an already grown child you didn't have to raise. You do no work, and they're probably earning money now to buy you a damn nice card and necktie. I wonder if stepdad doesn't care, and dear old mom is the one who really wants you to acknowledge him. To get back at your dad, or help acknowledge her own marriage maybe?
Why? Father's day is for celebrating fathers, the guy in a person's life who has supported, raised and loves them. The mother's husband doesn't really fit any of these, so why should the OP acknowledge him as such on this day? It would be like singing happy birthday to another person at a friend's birthday party because they feel "left out." It isn't your day buddy, so you don't get the attention, grow up.
And? It's a nice gesture to give money to everyone to meet, if you're up for it why don't you tell me where you are so I can meet you. Op was celebrating someone who was her actual father. Why should she take away from doing what the day is supposed to be about to call someone who wasn't a father figure at all and whom she doesn't seem to have any family relationship with? Why don't we just make it celebrate all men day because it's a nice gesture?
I'm not saying you have to give everyone a nice gesture. This is someone that is, by law, part of her family. He is her step father [key word "father"]. It's not his fault that he came into her life at an older age. But he is her mother's husband. And, unless he is just an awful person, just mentioning happy fathers day to him would have been nice. Would not have taken too much time away from her biological father. And I'm sure he would have understood.Sometimes, and I know this is a hard concept for people to understand, people do nice things for he sake of being nice. *gasp* OMG, I know! Crazy, right?
Yeah, you know what's actually nice? Focusing on your own damn kids and their efforts instead of being upset over a child you don't have a relationship with focusing their efforts on their actual father figure rather than you because apparently marrying someone means your entitled to bring celebrated by their kids. Op has commented. Op has said he had his own kids. Op said they don't have a relationship at all really, only seeing each other at holidays and that's it. Instead of letting op celebrate their father, OP's mother decided to try to guilt her into also giving her husband attention. Honestly I'm not sure it isn't just an attention thing for the mom like someone else mentioned and the dude doesn't even care. The call might be short, but still would've interrupted OP's time with their dad AND the husbands time with his own kids. If he does want included or seen as a dad, he should make it known and reach out to op. Until then op shouldn't have to take time from their father for some awkward call.
Step parents can be just like regular bio parents, sometimes better, my dad is my step father and has raised me since I was 4. I celebrate Father's day with both him and my biological dad. However, in your situation, your mom is bring incredibly unreasonable, that man is her husband, and that is the only title he has, he is not your father. In order to be a parent, you need to raise a child and be there for them. You're already an adult and this guy has only been around for a year, he has no traits that make him a dad. If he really feels "left out," he needs to get over it, "Father's day" is a day to celebrate actual contributing Father's, not "my mom's husband whom I've only known for a year and hasn't contributed really anything to my life."
Can anybody answer with absolute certainty exactly who "she" is? OP doesn't count, but can still answer anyway.