By FML Approved - France - Paris

FML Shitflix - Guess the Film!

We are pleased to introduce the latest addition to the FML video library: SHITFLIX! Listen carefully to the actors in this mashup of clips to figure out what movie they're describing. If you manage to guess right before the end, comment below!

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Our house, in the middle of our street

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Spy vs. Spy

By unknown relationship - United States - Shorewood

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47326

You deserved it

3135

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By Innocent

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39353

You deserved it

3018

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By no one - United States - Dallas

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year-old son does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37352

You deserved it

3913

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7377

You deserved it

66266

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By deven - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16703

You deserved it

44710

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By Anonymous - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49565

You deserved it

10618

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By Craigslist is Evil. - United States - Dickson

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

I agree, your life sucks

57113

You deserved it

5443

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By cinderella - Netherlands

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33318

You deserved it

4461

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By EvilMother - United States - Hinsdale

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31949

You deserved it

5211

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By BCBUDDY - United States

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16396

You deserved it

91657

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By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31229

You deserved it

3010

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By Zinfandel - United States

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17138

You deserved it

36783

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By Anonymous - Canada - Brampton

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34436

You deserved it

17574

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By meranda_johnson - United States

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26744

You deserved it

2525

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By holiday from hell - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I went to my dad's house for Christmas. Soon enough, my grandma had commented on how much weight I've gained, my aunt asked me why I'm still single, and my dad joined in by reminding me that I still haven't been accepted into college. Only three more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40154

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3674

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By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Proportional response

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1272

You deserved it

148

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By bnc - United States - Jefferson City

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47944

You deserved it

4014

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By xoVioLoveox - United States

Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we should play with nerf guns with velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck on his pants wiggling for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50181

You deserved it

13236

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By liilii - India - Trivandrum

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36621

You deserved it

6662

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By Jibber96 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I was walking with a friend to tell him how excited I was for college and even motivating him to apply for the same school, until I found out later that I got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23051

You deserved it

2433

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By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my school counselor in strict confidence for advice on how to help a friend of mine, who has bulimia. When I got home, I found out that "someone" had called my parents and told them that I'm bulimic. They won't believe the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24593

You deserved it

1636

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1212

You deserved it

3403

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By sistertaxi - Australia

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33719

You deserved it

2646

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By hastobeajoke - United States

Today, I submitted my 208th job application in less than a year, and went to my 83rd and 84th interviews, only to be told once again that I'm over-qualified for the first, and under-qualified for the second. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34822

You deserved it

2424

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By Dixienornous - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my wallet got stolen. I don't have a photo ID to get a temporary debit card, and since I don't have a debit card, I can't go to the DMV to get a new license. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14051

You deserved it

1149

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By myself - United States - Seaside

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21381

You deserved it

31123

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By help me - United States - West Hartford

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

I agree, your life sucks

68710

You deserved it

9902

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By justdancebbyx3 - United States

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42871

You deserved it

2996

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By rhythmbandit - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46030

You deserved it

4066

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By FMlovelife - United States

Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35668

You deserved it

2945

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By Anonymous - Canada - Brampton

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29055

You deserved it

19178

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By underemployed - United States

Today, I found out my no-work-experience brother has just accepted a 50k/year job. He is still in school and has never had a job. I work as an intern for 11 hours a day, get rude emails from my boss, and have 3 degrees and 5 years work experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34610

You deserved it

4892

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By NoFriends - United States

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69843

You deserved it

7529

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By twintowers - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50256

You deserved it

23164

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By Anonymous - 6/3/2021 16:58

Stuck on amber

Today, I'm living with my now ex-girlfriend of 9 years in the house we bought together. What's worse than that is the fact that 2 weeks before she told me she was unhappy and ended it, I had bought an engagement ring. I didn't get the chance to ask, and had to return the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1219

You deserved it

184

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By Leaving Early Fail - United States

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17159

You deserved it

11525

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By JulieClaire

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30086

You deserved it

4768

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By WaitingByThePhone - United States

Today, I got excited when my cell phone lit up because I hadn't received a single phone call all day. Turns out it was the "low battery" indicator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45803

You deserved it

11412

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By Heather Scurfield - 21/3/2021 10:59

Stomach bug?

Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

917

You deserved it

92

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By incestastic - Canada

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43064

You deserved it

3036

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Top comments

By Gngr_Grl | 26

#7486443 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 19:01

Giraffe Sick Perk.

By rivenrock | 14

#7486585 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 20:53

Got it at "giant lizard."

COMMENTS

By fierofan | 11

#7486436 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 18:56

Jurassic Park

By Gngr_Grl | 26

#7486443 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 19:01

Giraffe Sick Perk.

By Rares-Ionut Bozga | 12

#7486487 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 19:45

Jurassic Park definetly

By tease_ftx | 8

#7486518 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 20:05

Jurassic park

By 25people | 8

#7486582 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 20:51

Jurassic park

By rivenrock | 14

#7486585 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 20:53

Got it at "giant lizard."

By Tabby Rosas | 7

#7486661 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 21:38

Jurassic park

By Ashlee Weaver | 12

#7486707 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 22:16

Jurassic Park

By RichardPencil | 30

#7486914 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 0:43

Most MILF porn on the Internet. Those cougars don't waste their time with average-sized lizards.

By Nighttro | 12

#7487361 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 7:12

Jurassic Park