Intimacy: Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something...

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 199

You deserved it 2 949

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Same thing different taste

By fuck - 24/07/2015 16:44 - Canada - Cowansville

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 3 118

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 010

You deserved it 6 798

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 982

You deserved it 1 756

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 267

You deserved it 29 218

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 132

You deserved it 8 227

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 111

You deserved it 30 166

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 801

You deserved it 97 655

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 135

You deserved it 10 844

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 812

You deserved it 8 197

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 3 160

PharmacyJoe 13

Tuesday 28 July 2015 11:59

Have you explained to her that testicles and tubes of toothpaste do not, in fact, work in the same manner?

z_candy 18

Tuesday 28 July 2015 11:58

Sorry op, it looks like you literally busted a nut.

Comments

HighasaCloud 46

Tuesday 28 July 2015 17:50

Bite her ******** the next time you go down on her for a 'more intense ******.'

Keiraquarium 12

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:10

Does she read Cosmopolitan by any chance?

darknut79 17

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:20

Holy crap OP that hurt to read D:

MrGibbs25 20

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:32

ooooo shit! that sucks....

junpeiIori 17

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:49

Maybe she's into dominance and...ball juice control. It does wonders for you. Nout that I would know anything about that. Promise -shifty eyes'

Domonator 16

Tuesday 28 July 2015 19:24

OWWWWWWWWWW!!!

GummyBear98 6

Tuesday 28 July 2015 19:26

sorry but that made me laugh

Geckosrock99 33

Tuesday 28 July 2015 19:41

No! You're supposed to be gentle with those!

PunMasterEsquire 1

Tuesday 28 July 2015 19:45

hopefully soon to be ex girlfriend

quarterbird 18

Tuesday 28 July 2015 20:20

Is she "slow"? I can't imagine anyone with at least an average level of intellect thinking that that would be pleasurable.

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Same thing different taste

I am clumsy!

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