Intimacy: Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something...

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 199

You deserved it 2 949

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Same thing different taste

By fuck - 24/07/2015 16:44 - Canada - Cowansville

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 3 118

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 010

You deserved it 6 798

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 982

You deserved it 1 756

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 267

You deserved it 29 218

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 132

You deserved it 8 227

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 111

You deserved it 30 166

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 801

You deserved it 97 655

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 135

You deserved it 10 844

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 812

You deserved it 8 197

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 3 160

PharmacyJoe 13

Tuesday 28 July 2015 11:59

Have you explained to her that testicles and tubes of toothpaste do not, in fact, work in the same manner?

z_candy 18

Tuesday 28 July 2015 11:58

Sorry op, it looks like you literally busted a nut.

Comments

Spongegirlcs 17

Tuesday 28 July 2015 20:25

She needs to stop reading Cosmopolitan.

TheDoctorBadWolf 5

Tuesday 28 July 2015 21:05

It is nut your day

caliguy08 17

Tuesday 28 July 2015 21:32

Yup...time for a new girlfriend...naw I'm sure she was only busting your balls and didn't really mean it

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 28 July 2015 22:11

That is nut funny...doesn't she realize how valuable the family jewels are?

makeen4 10

Tuesday 28 July 2015 23:41

U break up with her?

kingnothing123x 11

Wednesday 29 July 2015 0:03

Give her the blow jobs for dummies book

kitsuneluvuh 12

Wednesday 29 July 2015 0:48

Oh my god. How could anyone have voted he deserved this?! I'm female, and I'm still appalled by this. OP, I hope you recover.

ChrisMora 16

Wednesday 29 July 2015 1:28

Is she retarded?!

LegionRapier61 8

Wednesday 29 July 2015 3:25

No, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

nightfall8705 33

Wednesday 29 July 2015 4:25

Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't.

Keywords

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Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

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You deserved it 254

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I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 684

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You deserved it 1 453

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I agree, your life sucks 25 432

You deserved it 6 593

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I agree, your life sucks 56 685

You deserved it 3 123

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I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 255

Same thing different taste

I am clumsy!

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