Bet his truck has massive tires. Or he owns a really big gun.

The ol' using tears as lube routine

Sorry op. I hate to say it,but those are tears of guilt. I bet she cheated or is cheating on you. Why else would she be crying at a time like that?

Maybe she thought that adding salt would make the taste better?

24, There are SO MANY reasons she could be crying. Why would you jump to that conclusion? What if something really devastating happened to her and OP just dumped her because he assumed she was cheating? That would make him a giant asshole and it would devastate the girl even more.

11 - "That's a nice truck! Sorry about your penis…"

Maybe the sudden realization that this is what her life has come to is what made her break down in tears.

No, we don't want that thumbs up shit here.

Damn, wrong person my bad.

Some people are into that thing not good people....but still people

It's not that funny..

He probably had a blank face LOL ---> -_-

Did you cry while sucking your boyfriend's dick?

Imagine what she could do if she actually tried...

At least OP's girlfriend didn't have a seizure... then he'd be writing an fml about how he no longer had a penis...

@58 - You and that silver lining of yours...

What?

You know, every cloud has a silver lining? Referring to you pointing out the positive in the fml? As in not getting his dick bitten off?

Thanks 87, that one went over my head.

Haha that was funny right there

58!

Another victim of auto-correct.

Yea tried everything to edit the comment.... apparently there isn't an app for that :/

It's all in the timing, unless you use an Android powered phone, then you're screwed.

yeaaaa about that... *DROID*

*SUCKS* you forgot that last part 12 don't worry I got you

^ It depends on which Android phone you have. That's the thing about Android: you have options. Some are cheap so even poor people can have smart phones, while others are really expensive and awesome and, in terms of quality of the phone itself, better than the iphone. There's only one iphone, with one pricetag, unless you want to buy an older version. Anyway, there are pros and cons to both versions. For example, while I can't edit comments on my Android phone, iphone users tell me they can't thumb up or down long comments, which is something I can do on my Android app.

Sure you can thumb down/up long comments on an iPhone. Just gotta slide your finger across the comment and it brings up the vote selection.

I thumbed the long comment down, I'm on an iPod...

Please direct your username as my response to your comment.

And please direct your attention to my picture for what to do next.

Thumbs up if you went back up to look at the name

No we don't want that thumbs up shit here.

Shut the hell up.

#72 Oh shit, youtube comments have mutated and made the jump to FML. I'll have a vaccine for it soon, in the meantime don't touch his comment in case it spreads.

Perhaps he hasn't even had one?

No, you need three to choose a best one. Out of two, it would only be the better. /grammar joke

I still think Starfox is one of the best games ever. Then again, it was the first one I ever played...

No, she was crying because OP didn't play the ******* song by blink-182

I agree. He sounds like he cares more about his blue balls than his girlfriend... Shallow much?

#26- Don't try that holier than thou on this one. If the situation was reversed you'd be frustrated to. It's like if your car got stuck at the top of a roller coaster, not a single person is immediatly thinking "Gosh, I feel bad for the mechanic who's gonna have to climb up here to fix this.". Someone being disappointed that something they were enjoying went to shit, does not make them shallow.

I totally didn't read 26's comment as swallow much...

Lol too awesome

Sorry #29, but if I were in that situation I would have thought to ask. Because being the selfish person that I am, I think "damn, if the BJ was this good and she was upset, I can get an even better BJ if I cheer her up". Because, in the end, it's all about me and where I can get my next BJ.

#29, if I didn't know the mechanic then no, it might not occur to me. However, if I were dating the mechanic, I'd absolutely be concerned about what my they were going through.

29 - One does not simply compare a rollercoaster car getting stuck to a significant other dealing with emotional trauma. It's a lot different and would put their emotional needs on the forefront when something like this happens. It is quite possible she may have had some traumatic sexual experiences from the past and memories were triggered for her. That's something that should be dealt with seriously and with importance. I agree that it is shallow to NOT ask and be disappointed that you were not able to get off.

Lol I didn't either

29, there's a big difference between a roller coaster breaking down and an actual human being "breaking down." It's pretty callous to even compare the two.

Right. So you'd share your girlfriend's private and obviously traumatic experience with your friends, just to get a few laughs? You must be single.

Am I the only one who didn't actually find this FML all that amusing?

1) she would be my ex by the time my friends found out. 2) I would feel the need to warn people away from psycho girl.

wow, 100... you're an asshole.

junkman- what the hell is wrong with you?? Seriously?? Are you that self centered and immature, that you think a relationship is centered around the physical side of things?? Don't you have a heart at all????

#100, I am severely repulsed by you.

I'm an asshole because I would dump a chick for being a total psycho.... How is that even physical? No wonder mental illness is on such an upswing people are breeding with the whackos.

Wow I hope you never breed 100.

How does crying make someone a "total paycho"??!! You are going to be a very lonely, pathetic man, who probably wouldn't ever get a girlfriend to dump in the first place!

You're right the nervous breakdown during head definitely makes her girlfriend material! What was I thinking saying she was crazy! And to be honest if my choices were breed with miss nervous breakdown on a dick or use my hand. Bring on the lotion. Seems a lil personal to you though Aussie.

wow 116 you're such an asshole, it amazes me...you never know what she went through to have a break down..I don't want to wish you to go through it yourself to understand it...but just so you know.. sometimes life works exactly that way.. it lets you walk the walk of people you laughed at. Good luck!

Lol, you think THAT'S crazy? Dude, you've never seen crazy...