Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
bokuwakuma 0
most faux fur is made of dog hair.
synesthesia_bass 0
wow. PETA is way out of their heads... their leader is too crazy... (watched their documentary). She looks like Paul McCartney.
ugliy 0
wow PETA sucks ass they shouldnt destroy other's property they shouldbe fined for that
Hard_Echoes 0
This smells like a fake FML to me. Overused and perfectly ironic...plus you can definitely sue their asses off for the cost.
Dreamlite 0
PETA is a batshit crazy extremist group anyways. For people that care about so animals they sure love to kill a ton of the adopted pets they receive. There's not a lot of things I hate more than PETA.
evilteriyaki301 0
That's so counterproductive... If rich people don't give a shit about fur coats and you destroy it... they're just going to buy more. therefore killing more animals. ANYWAY I agree with the first comment. You deserved it.
Sakura_Haruno 0
God, I ******* hate PETA, so I feel for you, but why would you wear fur even if it's fake if you're supposedly an animal-rights activist?
Th3aLynX 0
Sue PETA's ass! Although you shouldn't be wearing fake fur if your an animal rights activist
zachx16xanime 0
i am a guy not a big guy but i was wearing a brand new jacket that looks like its made from snowfox fur its not but it was expensive some peta or whatever people dumped stuff on my i grabbed the nearest thing which happeed to be a wooden restaraunt chair and proceded to break 7 till i was done then paid the restarant $200 for damages
maxam_fml 0
there is no such thing as faux fur. its probably DOG. Read up on it. sad sad sad.