Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (510)
Alley_Way 0
I really don't like how PETA deals with things either. I'm all for the cause though. I'm vegatarian myself just because I don't like the thought of killing animals. I agree we were made to eat meat, we need the Iron found in meat, which is why I don't go like "OMFG WTF EATING MEAT IS WRONG LOL YOUR GUYS ARE DUM GO VEGETARIAN/VEGAN!@!@!!$#%#@$#!" It's your choice and my words won't stop you. I don't agree with people eating more meat then they would because of vegatarians though
skylinediver 0
YDI for being an animal rights activist
DynamicDave 11
#387 stole the words right out of my mouth. except I was going to say vegan too
AsAlwaysAndrew 0
Well your just a royally stupid person arent you?
SoulChoc_fml 0
that's why i dnt like when ppl are too extreme about a cause b/c they act out of stupidity!!
bballboy91 0
I swear I would of hit the person who did this....
heroinchic 0
I've been vegan for five years, and I dislike PETA. That's horrible for them to do that to a random person (or anyone). You'd think that, if they were so passionate about it, they would at least be able to tell the difference between real and fake fur.
Compass 0
What's in that red liquid anyways? It couldn't possibly be good for the environment.
tb15 0
FAKE.
tb15 0
sorry to the moderators, though I forgot what I wrote that got moderated. I don't think I've ever written anything that offensive compared to other things I've heard here. I think I called Fake which I didn't know was against the rules.