Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
Sonalis 9
PETA's a pain in the ass. you should not be punished for wearing imitation fur.
Je_mapelle 0
I support peta but that's just RIDICULOUS. man, that sucks D: did you tell them that it was fake fur and that your a vegan and all that? i would've loved to see their faces. Did you make them pay you back ? if they didn't pay you for your jacket you should definitely sue. Not against 'peta' though, just the people who did it. what jerks those kids D:
isantorin 0
awww, that sucks. Sue? XD I sort of hate animals and think groups like PETA really need to step back and think about what the **** they're doing.
BootyPiratee 0
why the hell are you beating up on them for wearing fake fur? wtf. its not real ur all a bunch of douche bags. PETA should be sued for that. their f'n ridiculous
darkjediben 0
234...not everything is a conspiracy...And I'm pretty sure it's a lot cheaper to synthesize fur than it is to get rare animal furs, considering how cheap it is to make cloth and such nowadays. Oh, conspiracy nuts...
justpaper 0
PETA members are psycho!
bubs_AKA_vermin 0
**** PETA and their red liduids! PETA= People Eat Tasty Animals. XD
tentenjen 0
uhhhh isn't that destruction of property?
MPavz 0
i know a lot of vegans who wear fake fur. another thing, PETA sucks. they're hypocrites. they kill thousands of animals a year. the end.
Allis0nB 0
Fake. Peta members don't carry around 'red liquid' - they reserve that kind of thing for events where a ton of fur is worn. and btw, vegans can definitely wear fake fur.