Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
sexylawyerlady 0
seriously? what kind of a vegan wears fake fur? other than the really dumb ones-- oh wait, there are only really dumb ones. You deserve this for being a vegan.
Cerataphora 0
Hate PETA so ******* much...
melh2o 0
Maybe she was wearing a jacket with fake fur because she was cold. It's better insulation, and why shouldn't she be able to wear it, even if she is a vegan? Ditto to #227. I hate that they do that. Fake fur doesn't really have anything to do with animal cruelty, and the stupid PETA members should realize that or at least consider it may not be real before they squirt you with fake blood.
tdawgheath 0
http://www.nokillnow.com/PETAPart1HorribleSecrets.htm I wanted to share that...it's true.
Sorrel 0
I support them really, it is a bit too extreme though. Most "fake" fur is REAL fur people, you have to understand it is cheaper then the synthetic stuff so the jackasses pretend. It is your fault for wearing "fake" fur, and I am not too sorry for you quite honestly.
decibelevation 0
I assume when you say PETA you're referring to the "People for the Eating of Tasty Animals," yes?
Bear_Sandwich 0
PETA is rediculous, radical, and founded by hypocritical weirdos.
terimaa 0
234, no. fake fur or not, it's too late to matter. that's destruction of property and could be considered assault and i would sue for whatever i could get [that's the beautiful thing about america, isn't it?] and either way people have been killing, eating, and wearing animals since creation.. the great thing? animals do this to eachother every day.. honey, you wouldn't even be here if our ancestors didn't kill, eat, and wear animals. get over yourselves, PETA followers.
eppie 0
peta can shove it up the ass. so can u for supporting them also make em pay for it.
your_fault_idiot 0
When you say you're an animal rights activist, does that mean you support PETA? If you do, you totally deserved that happening to you.