Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
cd5love96 0
I hope a PETA person comes up to me and throws red liquid on my Sean John coat with fox fur. (i got it as a gift) I will beat their ass to the white meat. Never EVER let someone violate your space.
Delmar_fml 2
Well that'll teach you to be a part of a guerrilla terrorist organization. **** PETA and their red paint. How about you guys try preaching your hate-filled views in Russia where if you don't wear fur, you freeze your ass off. Oh right, didn't that FAIL miserably? Keep your own morals to yourself and out of my face. If my faux fur (faux because I can't afford an actual fur) hoodie gets red paint on it by your brood, hell will be paid and legal fines will be issued. Assault is assault.
RK5000 0
Oh they're not just against fur, they're against the fashion - even if it's fake. If I have to beat someone half to death with a leather shoe I will.
sameoldsameold 0
to be honest...this is fake as shit.
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
You deserved it. Damn animal lovers.
guitardedman 0
one day when i go ******* crazy im going on a peta-rampage-spree and ending a bunch of those *****. ok probably not, but if i every get crazy cenile or truly believe there is no moral repurcussion for killing some ****** that would rather be an animal then i'll take a 12 gauge to their headquarters. i'll walk in there with a fur coat eating beef jerky and pop those smug little ***** left and right. ahhh if only life was like grand theft auto
Ncc_Tardis 0
actually, YDI just for being a Vegan and an animal-rights activist.
yzarci57 0
I'm so glad I'm ambivant to this sort of thing. People should be stoppiing puppy mills, irresponsible breeding, and REAL animal abuse, not giving a **** about fur. We're qualified as animals too. Maybe PETA will start ******* with the Locks of Love coporation. . .hehe
FXCKMYLIFE 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ohhh man, I've been waiting to hear about something like this actually happening I don't know if this is real or not but I've always thought about what I'd do if it ever happened to me
sunshyne84_fml 0
I wish a PETA would!!