Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
DiSab 0
I ******* hate PETA. It's all a bunch of bullshit.
bellstrange 0
if you were an animal rights activist you wouldn't even be wearing FAKE fur, since even though it's fake it still justifies that it's okay to wear it, which it is not. you are a douchebag, and deserved that red liquid.
RhynoD 0
And that's why vegans suck.
sweetcharades 0
Just because you're a vegan and an animal rights activist it doesn't mean PETA won't find some reason to hate you. Sorry that you had to deal with their bullshit. (And ignore all the flamers cuz most of them hopefully will learn in time that they are hypocritical douchebags.)
geetface 0
Regardless of whether or not you should be wearing fake fur as an animal rights activist, NO ONE has the right to go throw red shit all over you. NO ONE. I hope you shot each one of those ******* in the back of the head, execution style.
SoBlonde_fml 0
I call BS.
greenearth 0
#1 summed it up for me
evolveahimsa 0
why would you be a jackass and wear fake fur? why don't you find some fake beer and drink bottles of it while driving or rob a gas station with a fake gun? then we can all feel sorry for you again when your deluding others results in another inconvenience.
dg72592_fml 0
i'm a vegetarian as well & i hate PETA. **** that extremist shit, its extremists of all kinds that cause problems in the world. and she has every right to wear fake fur, its the same thing as eating a veggie burger and has nothing to do with real-live animal abuse.
Funtertaining11 0
Huh. Some people are just stupid and act on impluse without thinking. I would've said, "I hope you all are going to pay for this, or I'll open a can of whoop a**!" Just kidding. But I hope you told them they'd better pay.