Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
smorgasm 0
dude, anyone saying that you shouldnt be wearing fake fur is pretty dumb. im pretty sure people eat fake meat and find it ok. same thing. even if you dont, fake fur isnt harmful at all, it looks good sometimes. real fur is ****** up, but whatever. missunderstandings happen, but most of the time peta is outside of stores that sell real fur. idk where the hell you were.
airandfingers 0
Agreed, #207. Also agreed with all the people saying that PETA is made up mostly of assholes. They can't get what they want through normal campaigning and lobbying (partly because they do stupid and controversial things like compare slaughterhouses to Auschwitz), so they resort to childish tactics like throwing dye on people. It's a free country assholes, win your fights the right way. All you have to do is read PETA's mission statement to know that their priorities are ****** up and many at the top are batshit crazy.
Theos_fml 0
Some people don't really care about the animals, they just want to harass other people and cause trouble. I never killed anything bigger than a songbird, but I can't wait to slaughter deer. The reason being-since humans destroyed most of the predators trying to get their furs and teeth to act tough, nothing hunts the deer any more and they get over populated. They then cause trouble by getting hit by cars and eating all the food that other animals need to eat. Then most of them will slowly starve to death. Some things need to die so there are enough resources for others to live.
eastmanwolf 0
Can PETA get sued for the shit they try to pull? Because every time I hear something like this, I really can't believe they all don't get arrested.
thenameisbetty 0
That's really dumb of you. Why woudl you even wear fake fur? That's almost as bad as wearing real fur.
FreedomFirst 0
PETA terrorists aren't really animal rights activists. They're just terrorists. Bullies with a cause, socially inept jerks who get their kicks by abusing other people. Be proud of yourself for being one of the people who really ARE making a difference - without making the world a rotten place to live.
zbots 0
Why wear fake fur? Because it looks good and doesn't harm animals. I don't see the the problem.
SynysterV17 3
dude **** PETA except if its People Eating Tasty Animals but stillI agree with #1
kahulaoz 0
petas ******* retarted
fmlfyl 1
peta sucks, but this is fake