Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML
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Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML
Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
Today, I've had such bad constipation during my fourth pregnancy that I have now had to manually scoop the poop out of my ass to get things moving again. FML
Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML
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Top comments
TMramrod 15
That's enough internet for today.
YBae 27
I guess using laxatives with your medication isn't recommended...?
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Comments (111)
djTrikhster 4
At least you don't have to go for a prostate exam.
I_Like_Dogs 28
If you don't want or can't take meds, papaya works as a natural laxative.
jaimefgr 6
OMG!! I'm eating right now !! come on!! FYL.
trucker2 33
Correction ...WAS
phreaker913 21
dealt with this a couple weeks ago. stool softeners are your friend
olpally 33
Ayyyyyyy... :( no Bueno. So ******* nasty. Yikes...
trucker2 33
Oh damn, I'm wearing rubber gloves.......paint tray, roller I'm good.
quickfingers100 15
Time to get the "apparatus"!
jmagd781 16
use stool softeners.... better than fingering your butt hole
MRSwick2525 23
Maybe talk to your doctor, Emergency Room, stool softners, laxatives, fiber along with plenty of water may help a bit, fruits, green leafy vegetables help regulate you once you go. Any of these are better then what you are currently going through OP.
SCbaseball6 8
Shove some dung beetles up your asshole and they roll the shit out for you
Coldinside 12
Pure win.
MRSwick2525 23
pure stupidity