Work: Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me... - FML

By moduschic - 19/10/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 843

You deserved it 17 451

There's no helping some people

Commando

Bad day

Sorry, but it's a no

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 15:01 - Australia - The Oaks

Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 67

By SplitMind95 - 19/08/2016 03:20 - United States - Harrisburg

Today, I was on Tinder and only one girl matched with me. She gave me a "Super-Like" so I thought she must want to get to know each other and see what happens. Nope. She recognized me as the guy who adopted the stray cat she was taking care of last year, and just wanted to know how he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 786

You deserved it 1 244

By scarredforlife - 08/08/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 135

You deserved it 7 170

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 96

By Cheyenne - 11/07/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 3 688

By hanzastfu - 26/10/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 716

You deserved it 9 293

Bean.

By BeanThereRuinedThat - 22/03/2017 12:00

Today, my partner proposed to me during an anniversary dinner at a small, quiet Italian restaurant near where we live. We'd never been before, but the food was great, and the staff lovely. It all would have been perfect, if not for the dozens of pictures of Mr. Bean which covered every wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 288

You deserved it 1 023

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 419

You deserved it 2 774

By musamalia - 06/01/2009 11:58 - France

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 907

You deserved it 3 439

By Gitana - 22/04/2012 19:08 - Spain - Tafalla

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 3 144

By happycow122 - 20/06/2015 20:54 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 20 302

Thanks, I hate it

By effmylife - 23/10/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 677

You deserved it 3 643

By not-so-happy-feet - 14/06/2009 23:41 - Canada

Today, I was at my friends birthday party, dancing bare foot because my feet hurt from the heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 967

You deserved it 6 437

By Brittany - 10/04/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 49 784

By julia - 01/12/2012 01:02 - United States - Downers Grove

Spicy

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 346

You deserved it 3 920

By nothesisforme - 11/03/2015 14:01 - France

Today, I asked my professor for his opinion on the subject I plan to study in my thesis. Turns out, he likes it so much that he's going to steal it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 912

You deserved it 2 937

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 18:01 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. After she left, they told me they disapprove of her because of her supposedly lower social class. Now I have to either dump her or lose the money they set aside to pay for my university tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 459

You deserved it 3 136

By Meghan Elise - 02/03/2019 16:00

Today, I found that there were charges of almost 2,000 dollars on my bank account. Some asshole in Florida stole my money. I have bills and that was money I saved to buy myself a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 307

You deserved it 149

Bored

By Anonymous - 06/08/2020 05:02

Spicy

Today, I'm considering working as an escort again, to get some human closeness, have interesting conversations and feel wanted and appreciated. I'm actually in a steady relationship; I guess it’s not a very good one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 575

Amityville

By bumpinthenight - 20/04/2020 08:00

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 315

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 09:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 567

You deserved it 6 552

Incognito browsing

By Anonymous - 26/05/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, my dad is super overprotective and can view my search history through his phone. I'd downloaded the Google app to be able search for things he wouldn't approve of. I just realized I've been making all these searches on my school account. I go to a private school and they can view my search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 146

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 234

You deserved it 14 408

By 918boyz - 04/02/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 748

You deserved it 2 602

Home Improvement

By coius - 29/11/2020 01:03 - United States - Lincoln

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 252

By emi - 01/07/2012 04:30

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 911

You deserved it 5 300

By Kalaina - 25/10/2009 04:36 - France

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 463

You deserved it 2 508

By Anonymous - 04/11/2012 18:14 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 699

You deserved it 2 356

By Sundendako - 27/01/2010 10:20 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 296

You deserved it 3 527

By weddingcrashed - 19/09/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 479

You deserved it 4 295

Are you calling me a fatass?

By Asl94 - 16/01/2021 05:01

Today, my mom asked me what I wanted as a gift, so I said a Cricut machine. She replied, "You don’t need exercise equipment, you need to eat healthier." A Cricut is a sticker maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 110

Still better off without him

By victimofakarmicbackfire - 12/02/2021 04:58

Today, my sister showed me my arrogant, misogynistic, cheating ex’s Facebook. Since we broke up, he’s become an officer in the Marines and has traveled the world. I’m clinically depressed and in poverty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 238

By ...thanks - 07/09/2013 14:17 - United States

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 584

You deserved it 4 862

My regret

By regret - 30/12/2019 01:00 - Australia - Warrnambool

Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 471

By JL. - 16/03/2019 00:00

Today I was trying to show off to my mother about how much detail I placed into my group project that I had to do tomorrow. I then proceeded to delete the project thinking that I was just removing it from my phone.... Everyone's research and my 3 day's of hard work went with it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 2 513

By embaressed - 20/09/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 378

You deserved it 2 897

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 01:15 - India - Ahmedabad

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 673

You deserved it 6 313

By girlfromnowhere - 23/02/2016 11:06 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my boss asked me to work over the entire weekend. That would be fine if I didn't already work a 60 hour week. He also said the extra hours on the weekend wouldn't be paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 654

You deserved it 2 098

By cantdolife - 23/09/2018 21:00 - United States - New Boston

Today, as a teacher, I had a conference with the mother of a student who is struggling with behavior. Turns out the mom is the woman who does my Brazilian waxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 297

You deserved it 278

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 18:29 - United States - South Burlington

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 073

You deserved it 2 913

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Top comments

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Monday 19 October 2009 9:50

Hahaha, kind of YDI, but I voted FYL because you were just trying to be nice, and lets face it, people who are buying that kind of clothes...

noshitsherlock 0

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Monday 19 October 2009 9:51

hahahahhaha. She sounds like a grumpy fabulous person

Comments

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Monday 19 October 2009 9:49

Haha. You failed.

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Tuesday 27 April 2010 4:58

the same thing happened to me, except with raccoons :(

BuddyChristSays 0

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Monday 14 June 2010 3:05

and that's why you don't talk to people who wear stuff from the Quacker Factory.

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Monday 19 October 2009 9:50

Hahaha, kind of YDI, but I voted FYL because you were just trying to be nice, and lets face it, people who are buying that kind of clothes...

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Tuesday 20 October 2009 4:56

Yeah, but it's at the store she works at. She really shouldn't be insulting the product.

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Tuesday 20 October 2009 6:07

She's not really. If she's the kind of person who wants to wear a gold sequin top...then she should own it and not get offended. It's obviously a bit of an outrageous top.

noshitsherlock 0

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Monday 19 October 2009 9:51

hahahahhaha. She sounds like a grumpy fabulous person

BellaMuerte_fml 0

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Monday 19 October 2009 10:24

I'm kind of torn on this one. One hand hand, sequins? Seriously? That's really tacky... Very Halloween-ish. So it is obvious as to where the OP got that idea from. However, assuming things ALWAYS gets thrown back in your face /:

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Monday 19 October 2009 11:00

Yeah, you really need to think long and hard about this one, because your decision whether they deserve it or whether their life really is fucked will change the world as we know if. Forever. No one cares what you vote. Stop boring us with your stupid dilemmas.

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Monday 19 October 2009 18:51

Beautiful Death is probably a cashier. Even if not, don't knock a legitimate comment.

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Monday 19 October 2009 19:48

#10: Stop reading the fucking comments if you complain about them. You have a scrollbar to the right of your browser and a mouse and even keyboard functions to make the page move up and down to read other comments or even (GASP!) ignore them and move along. /end hypocrisy

BellaMuerte_fml 0

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Tuesday 20 October 2009 6:55

Woahhh theree.... haha, I got flamed for such a simple comment? Sorry for boring you with my 'dilemma'. And I just noticed I made a typo-thing. I wrote "One hand hand" and I meant "On one hand". Not sure how I did that. @BeeSkwaird - I'm not a cashier :3 Haha. Red_Dawn - haha. thanks. I think #10 is on her period.

fatraptorjesus13 9

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Saturday 6 August 2011 1:48

10...you're comment is even more useless...

redbluegreen 40

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Monday 19 October 2009 10:26

Mmm. I can't wait for the idiots to come and not understand the FML.

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Monday 19 October 2009 18:08

Well.. I guess I'm first. And that'd mainly be because English isn't my mother tongue :c Thank you for destroying my self-esteem with a simple sentence *cries in a corner*

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Monday 19 October 2009 10:27

Sequins are just that damn sexy ; )

POW96 0

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Monday 19 October 2009 10:35

hahaha damn right they're sexy ;)

spyderman2190 0

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Monday 19 October 2009 11:05

YDI for makin small talk...naw im kidding screw her for not pickin better clothes

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Monday 19 October 2009 11:28

i agree with number #23 (:

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Monday 19 October 2009 16:49

alright, whoever's #23 needs to post something like "The Holocaust isn't real."

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Tuesday 20 October 2009 11:36

number 23 fails :( i thought i would get some lolz out of that but no, they had a big rant. LOLOCAUST.. no.

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Monday 19 October 2009 11:48

I hate dealing with the public. That's why when ever I see a customer coming my way looking like they want my help I run out the back of the store and hide untill they leave. I wonder why I haven't won employee of the month yet???

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 7

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 81

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 44