Work: Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had...

By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 06:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 717

You deserved it 2 480

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Same thing different taste

Gas wars

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 15:59 - United States

Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML

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You deserved it 74

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

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You deserved it 2 706

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 451

You deserved it 6 068

Gassed up

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 943

You deserved it 3 542

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 3 624

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 977

You deserved it 25 500

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 4 639

By Anonymous - 27/10/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 096

You deserved it 3 053

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 609

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 15:23

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 817

You deserved it 12 098

ManInTheMachine 19

Thursday 18 October 2012 16:08

OP: Um, sir, it isn't a pr-- *phrrrrrrrRRRRRRp!* -ank, um, I actu--- *PraaaaaaaaaAAAAAAph* *shittle* *shart* --a condi-- *toot* Boss: You think you're funny, huh?!? I'm sick of your shit, you're fired. OP: But sir I-- *BrAAAAAAPPPPPphhhhizzzzz* Boss: GET OUT! I'm dying in here! Maybe you should get a job at prank shop, OP. You could use it to your advantage!

trollcrusher 17

Thursday 18 October 2012 16:06

I'm sorry OP, that's embarrassing. Try talking it out.

Comments

doglover100 28

Friday 19 October 2012 3:59

I know how you feel when it comes to embarrassing medical conditions.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Friday 19 October 2012 5:09

I think they're blaming it on "a machine" to spare you the embarrassment of blaming it on you. It's a polite fiction on their part. Good luck. This is a tough situation to be in. Hopefully your coworkers and manager are understanding of the fact that this is a medical condition that you may not be able to do anything about.