Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML
Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML
Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, my friend and I were in a hallway talking while a man kept walking by and turning around. I then asked him "WHAT are you LOOKING for!". It was a blind man. FML
Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML
Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML
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Top comments
nikkiandyou 0
hmmm, was the person like bald or osmething, or have like scalp wrinkles that made it look likes lips? funny....but like...so weird..i dont get how you could have mistaken it
24788 7
FHL, he had to meet you.
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Comments (130)
cuts_wont_heal 0
wow..im srry but ur just damn dumb bitch like wow.....u must be rly slow n sht like gosh DOESNT HE LIKE HAVE EYE BROWS OR SOMETHING?! n also u must be pretty self centered if u think he was staring at ur ugly ass xD PWNED!
lindzXcore 0
are you legally blind?
canucksrule88 0
how the hell do you not notice the difference between the back and front of a head...
plexico 4
I figured it out! The only way this could not be a fake would be if the bottom half of his head was obscured by a shelf. It could look like he was peering of the top at the magnificent-looking OP. Mystery solved. However, the proper retail phrase for "What the **** are you staring at?" is "May I help you?" The phrase has many meanings like "Aloha." It can mean "Please, for the sake of all that is good and holy, say no because I don't want to help you," "We don't sell anything that would cover that sack of shit you call a body," and "If I ever find out who invented polyester pants, I'll murder them slowly with a rusty paper clip!"
leero 0
you're a genius. i didn't understand this FML until i read your comment. thank you very much!
plexico 4
I'm sorry you are disappointed with my work. I really felt that I had to work out how the OP could possibly mistake sunglasses on the back of some guy's head for him staring at her. Someone beat me to the Cousin It comment, but otherwise it seemed so patently absurd that I couldn't buy it until I came up with my scenario. I guess you must like polyester pants.
plexico 4
It's not the "seeing" of polyester pants that most people usually object to, it's the "wearing." I got a kick out of writing what retail sales people really mean when they offer to help you. I'm sorry you didn't. Of course I got fired from a retail job because when my boss asked me, I couldn't correctly finish the sentence, "The customer's always. . ." Turns out that the answers ". . . there," ". . .bugging me," and ". . . a necessary evil," do not reflect an appropriate retail mindset.
chasemee 0
Plexico. I almost pissed my pants when I read the bottom of this. It was pretty late so I went back to it today to see if it was just the late night laughs and I found it equally as hilarious. Keep posting on here cause you're funny as hell and I probably wouldn't get on this site much if you didn't reply.
rowergirl 0
r u blind?
LMFAOwhilereadin 0
YDI how can you not notice sunglasses backwards i mean cmon theres hair entirely on the back
triplethreat13 0
you didn't notice the hair, or the lack of a nose and mouth? wow.
cutiepiex3 0
You're just rude >.>
Pointy130 0
Umm, didn't you notice his hair? or, even if he shaved his head, didn't you notice the lack of facial features? Maybe his backwards shirt? YDI Big time.
Otrain 5
fail