Work: Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed...

By Anonymous - United States - Franklin

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

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Work

Out of it

Own it

Love costs a fortune

By Anonymous - 10/10/2020 11:01

Honest mistake

Today, my girl and I with got caught having sex in the car by cops. They thought we were smoking bongs because the windows were foggy. FML

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By cookscatastrophy - United States

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

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By tax-man - United States - Chapin

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

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By John Doe

Still the same

Today, my mom showed to my girlfriend my naked baby photos. My girlfriend said, "Nothing’s changed." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

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By foreverashamed - Canada

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML

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By Excalibur6669 - United States - Parlin

Today, my sister is having a New Year's Eve party at our house. I'm not invited. FML

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By singkong duleng

Today, I told my mom that my wife and I got her a birthday present, but she won't be getting it until April. That instantly pissed her off, cussing us out calling us cheap worthless selfish bastards. I was about to surprise her that she's finally going to be a grandma. FML

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By Anonymous - Italy - Bologna

Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML

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By bridalqueen - United States

Today, as a veteran blood donor, I made a friend who was donating for the first time- I told her not to be scared and that I've been doing it for six years and that it was a great way to help people. While at the snack area afterwards, I passed out, started convulsing and went into shock. FML

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By Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

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By Argh - United States - Longview

Today, my boss reached a new low when, after three software upgrades, she refused to let me update the user manual that I wrote a year ago. She has also cancelled the training sessions I set up to help people learn the new software. People are asking me why I'm not doing my job anymore. FML

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By wdavi022

Today, I found out my identity was stolen. The person got credit cards in my name and didn't pay the bills, which has ruined my near perfect credit. The worst part about all of this is that I can't turn the person in. It's my mom, and sending her to jail wouldn't really work out for anyone. FML

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By towelwindow - United States

Today, out of the goodness of my heart, I went to work to help out a co-worker even though my last day was last week. I parked in a garage a block away for 2 hours. I paid $20 to park, didn't get paid, am spending $400 to get my back window replaced, and I have to buy a new iPod. FML

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By KitchenFlooder

Today, I flooded my entire kitchen. The water was cut off at night and I left the faucet open without realizing. When the sound woke me up at 5am, the water reached my ankles. I frantically tried to sweep it out before my mother woke up at 6am. I didn't make it. FML

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By CJ - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I was looking for a moustache comb, couldn't find it anywhere. Then I noticed it in a basket by the toilet with scissors. My wife's been using it to trim her pubes. FML

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By Snow-White - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

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45590

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By great - United States

Snarky

Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He's also about to rent a new apartment which he won't be able to afford when he loses his job. I can't warn him or I'll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

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By Ya - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

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By .... - United States

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

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By Xia - United States

Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML

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By dammit - United States

Today, my father's company shut down his branch, leaving him without a job. This is followed by a letter from my school's financial aid office, saying I'm not getting a penny because my family's income level is too high. FML

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By anon - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

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By Nick - United States

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML

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By Whytetrash - Australia - Sydney

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

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By Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace - United States - Riverside

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

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By Crap - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Gainesville

Today, I'm so sick, I'm even sick in my dreams. Orientation for my new job starts tomorrow. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

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29788

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By Anonymous - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 23:01

Unloveable

Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

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By Jeanine - United States

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

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By Oriianna Raiinbow - United States

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

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By mcpeepants - United States

Today, I found out I've recently developed a bladder control issue. Every time I lift anything more than about fifteen pounds, I pee myself a little. I work in a warehouse. Heavy lifting is my job. FML

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By leeseyxoxo - United States

Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML

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Top comments

By organizse | 28

#6530603 - Sunday 7 February 2016 0:21

What kind of job is this??

By BlueBaronBitch | 22

#6530621 - Sunday 7 February 2016 0:26

The job could be cleaning parks/recreational areas, not sure why you need to identify the dog though

COMMENTS

By organizse | 28

#6530603 - Sunday 7 February 2016 0:21

What kind of job is this??

Hoopachi | 19

#6530741 - Sunday 7 February 2016 3:25

Probably Forensic Pathology, deals with autopsies and classifying dead people/animals. Kinda like a doctor of the dead.

Dark_Cecilia | 20

#6530775 - Sunday 7 February 2016 4:16

I doubt that would be minimum wage though...

MandieL | 27

#6530781 - Sunday 7 February 2016 4:25

Maybe it's an entry level position. Or a paid internship.

Feklfekl2222 | 32

#6530854 - Sunday 7 February 2016 5:54

Some rubbish departments of councils freeze and catalogue dead animals for a period after they're found so owners can find them and bury them etc

bprattle93 | 1

#6530998 - Sunday 7 February 2016 9:05

For minimum wage?

JCWolfGirl | 14

#6531020 - Sunday 7 February 2016 10:33

I think op may work at an animal shelter/pound, the kind where strays are taken to. It's not uncommon at my local kill shelter for dogs to be brought in DOA to be identified and then cremated.

By Youtube_Troll | 12

#6530604 - Sunday 7 February 2016 0:22

Danm that really sucks

XxDanno316xX | 27

#6530843 - Sunday 7 February 2016 5:40

And don't forget to slap that button folks :)

By tylercoffman420 | 19

#6530614 - Sunday 7 February 2016 0:25

What type of job is this? I've never heard of this type of thing being required.

By corky1992 | 33

#6530616 - Sunday 7 February 2016 0:25

That's definitely not worth only making minimum wage..your job sucks.

By BlueBaronBitch | 22

#6530621 - Sunday 7 February 2016 0:26

The job could be cleaning parks/recreational areas, not sure why you need to identify the dog though

TheLadyOpal | 30

#6530666 - Sunday 7 February 2016 1:23

Probably to see if it matches the description of any dogs reported missing in the area.

bonermonkey | 31

#6530702 - Sunday 7 February 2016 2:19

Because when people lose their dogs they usually like to have some closure so they can stop searching and grieve

MrKento11 | 12

#6530779 - Sunday 7 February 2016 4:25

I suppose that if it was in a bag someone did it on purpose, so they might think they can track somebody responsible for it. I think.

meggieeeeee92 | 16

#6530897 - Sunday 7 February 2016 6:33

I figured it was put in a bag by whoever recovered the dog and sent it to the OP's work place. I wouldn't just send a dead dog covered in maggots without some sort of packaging.

BlueBaronBitch | 22

#6531103 - Sunday 7 February 2016 14:43

51 you would be surprised how many people try to get rid of pets by putting them in a bad and dumping them there, it's very sad and painful for the animal but somehow some humans possess the cruelty to do it :(