Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML
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Top comments
boopityboppity 11
Ah, the joys of being a cashier. Some of the people are just so strange. This one person — not entirely unlike the OP's — came through my line with one pregnancy test and a single coat hanger. I hope it was a practical joke or something, in both of our cases.
MrBoredGuy 1
crazy old men and their sexual needs, surprised he only got one can
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Comments (102)
Sirin_fml 47
Yep, problem's fixed now. Thanks, baby.
perdix 31
Were you disappointed that he didn't invite you to the party? Don't knock old men until to try one. We tend to be slower than younger guys, and when that applies to speed of ******, it could be very pleasurable for you young women ;)
Juneyah1017 9
The grin was based on the fact that he's planning to bang your mommy.
abi96 0
So you cashiers do take into account of what we purchase. That explains all the weird looks i've been getting when buying tubes of preparation H up the wazoo. I swear, it's for a project!
dt520 4
yeah, a project to fix your hemmroids... haha
THEMTCHELL 0
this is the after math of a boom box
IHeartJimi02 0
Op meant scarred. "Scarred for life" is a very common expression.
IHeartJimi02 0
sorry. I have no idea how my comment was posted here.
ad_astra_taurus 2
And boiled goose.
tygerarmy 35
you've got to know the limits of a boom box, this was a cautionary tale, a boom box is not a toy!
Peaceout0608_ 0
OMGG! I would be kinda freaked out about his smile too! :O
CommonSenseKarma 17
Oh My Great God. Yeah, that's right.
SchiTzenGiglez 0
haha creeper status 4 life
makeitreeeal 0
id like ur job
Doortje 30
He probably just does it to scar cashiers. I bet he goes to a different store every week.
DRIEAM 0
A few girlfriends and I bought a baseball bat, vaseline, and condoms once.
florenzfang 0
Maybe he thought u would think this way..n he grinned ...lol