Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Nipples are very dangerous things. Especially left ones. Your cat was just trying to look out for you.
randomboy18 0
that pussy just wanted some milk
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Comments (135)
bachooka 5
this FML was worded so beautifully! -sniffle-
decomposerix 0
did he want to rape u
FarSide 23
I guess its a good thing you wasn't sporting a woody.
patheticsoul 0
ytdi for owning a cat in the first place
patheticsoul 0
ytdi for owning a cat in the first place cats are stupid and evil and deserve to die
patheticsoul 0
ytdi for owning a cat in the first place
lekiat 0
i hate cats
sueannpalma 7
if it's a kitten it could be trying to nurse even older cats try to if they are weaned(sp)/taken away from there mom ( if still taken milk from her) to early
alex6946 10
oww!!!! :O boobs are sooo sensitive! crazy kitteh, kittehs are sooo vicious! I have scars from when my cat attacked me! :o
ouch1990 0
I don't like cats, highly allergic. FYL