Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Nipples are very dangerous things. Especially left ones. Your cat was just trying to look out for you.
randomboy18 0
that pussy just wanted some milk
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Comments (135)
winkly95 0
Just another reason to hate cats!
IAMAFUCKINGPHYSC 0
ibicitcfiyguyyvbl
NetherWo1f 0
(Insert generic comment about inserting generic comments here)
NetherWo1f 0
(Insert generic reply about inserting generic messages here)
IdioticSmiles 1
Is the cat okay?
Vilsitior_93 12
That's hot..... Unless ur a dude then it's not hot.
sweetyang69 6
Lol that is funny as hell. It had to hurt but it's funny
SaraWinterHeart 15
My cat decided at 3 in the morning that my brand new 32 inch flat screen television didn't need to be sitting on top of my entertainment center, so he jumped up there and knocked it off, cracking the screen and rendering it useless. Apparently my warranty doesn't cover asshole cats, so I had to go back to using my old box television until I could save up enough money again to buy another one. He no longer is allowed in my room. Lol.