Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Nipples are very dangerous things. Especially left ones. Your cat was just trying to look out for you.
randomboy18 0
that pussy just wanted some milk
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Comments (135)
hotmike1 0
cats are horrible you should get a dog haha beyatchh
trey9991 0
ydi for havin a cat. they suck
DarwinWillFixIt 11
So was your nipple dangling off the side of the bed? If so, umm.. wear a bra maybe?
951753852456 0
ouch!!!
dirtyblond 4
Lick it! Duhhh-___-
MsSoulReaper 27
I'm sorry for your nipple. Sleep with a shirt next time?
Zombi5110 0
I literally LOL'd on this. Too funny.
hippyhater3000 4
haha I'm not sure wat kind of smartass remark I can make about this but....... I feel you pain
lilmissny599 0
cats are scary
psychwardnurse 0
ew gross put some clothes on YDI...