Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML
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Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, at three in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML
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Top comments
Pingvinai 37
I suggest having holy water running through your toilet now.
pastel_fml 18
I wouldn't use the bathroom in the dead of night anymore either after that.
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Comments (90)
blink831forever 13
OP stop being a little bitch. It's obvious he was sleep talking. So put on your big girl panties and get the **** over it. You should be embarrassed at yourself acting like a little kid.
RuasaLove 17
Good thing ur scared shitless, maybe yue won't need to use the bathroom? Lolz
ManderDander 11
My boyfriend also has the nasty habit of saying demonic things in his sleep, unfortunately.
YeahOkFuckYou 3
guess its a good thing you're scared shitless... you won't have to shit anymore.
DaRito 25
So your boyfriend had a dream. That doesn't say anything about your bathroom.
fpants2010 18
Well, on the plus side - if you're shitless then you won't have to use the bathroom anyways :)
Cslagem 10
Hey but if you're scared shitless you shouldn't need to use the bathroom. Zing!
Zgamerz 11
What. the. ****...
Zgamerz 11
*mutters, ''****, i'm in that side of youtube again."
laden_swallow09 34
So he was dreaming. You can void your bowels at night and no one is going to steal your dermis.