Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, at three in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML
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Top comments
Pingvinai 37
I suggest having holy water running through your toilet now.
pastel_fml 18
I wouldn't use the bathroom in the dead of night anymore either after that.
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Comments (90)
gamerdude99 9
I guess you will go shitless since he scared you shitless
Quasars 10
I had a dream where it was dark and a homeless man sprayed me with pepper spay then stabbed me to death. Maybe you have ants. Or Game of Thrones WhiteWalkers
1stones 8
Plot twist, your boyfriend is a genius and it was all planned
OtakuCore 14
Well, that's unnerving.
Hyenayena 27
Holy crap I hate this. One time I was having a bad time sleeping at my boyfriends , and because I couldn't sleep I used the bathroom and saw what appeared to be another silhouette behind me. I assumed it was him, no biggie. When I went back to his room he was there! So I couldn't sleep because his house is 100 years old and out on a farm where last summer, a neighbour of his was convicted of the murder of three people (Douglas Garland) and it was just overall unsettling
Humanoidfreak 5
step 1: take skin step 2: ????? step 3: profit
Fas4wd 13
HAHAHAHAHAH!!! But I do sympathise with you.
brenton490 19
That moment when you are in the restroom around that time reading this fml. Now I'm scared! Am I lucky cause I made it or am I now in the middle of this vicious circle!!!
Omniprism 15
He was dreaming. It has nothing to do with the bathroom.
el_vandragon 4
If your scared shitless now you don't need the bathroom