Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried...

By Anonymous - 12/11/2018 12:00

Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 405

You deserved it 486

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 149

Been here long?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2022 14:00

Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 142

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 940

You deserved it 1 159

Tasty

By spiderlady - 21/09/2015 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 993

You deserved it 2 174

By Shrieking_Shack_Maiden - 07/09/2018 23:30

Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 660

You deserved it 252

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 545

You deserved it 3 022

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 514

You deserved it 3 352

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 105

You deserved it 4 986

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 624

You deserved it 762

By Anonymous - 07/03/2011 01:48 - United States

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 950

You deserved it 8 899

Nico Noppe 9

Thursday 25 October 2018 19:06

First rule of working with electricity: TURN IT OFF! Congratulations on being the textbook case of why this is the first rule.

Sertorius 9

Thursday 25 October 2018 12:04

Still alive though, so I'm calling that a win.

Comments

Sertorius 9

Thursday 25 October 2018 12:04

Still alive though, so I'm calling that a win.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 25 October 2018 12:51

So, did your customer sympathize with you, or are you a "pussy" who won't be hired by that specific customer again?

Nico Noppe 9

Thursday 25 October 2018 19:06

First rule of working with electricity: TURN IT OFF! Congratulations on being the textbook case of why this is the first rule.

2shack 7

Monday 12 November 2018 18:32

A red seal electrician is permitted to work on live wires. So no, not a rule.

MATTY2512 15

Tuesday 13 November 2018 1:21

Doesn’t make it wise.

tounces7 27

Tuesday 13 November 2018 2:45

They were replacing the box itself. How would they turn the power off? Shut off the whole city?

Kristoffer 35

Monday 12 November 2018 13:54

TBH you should not have been working on live wires. I know electricians do it all the time but you just proved why it's unsafe.

Listerinekiss 8

Monday 12 November 2018 14:41

That is just incredibly shocking. I'm glad you woke up though.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 12 November 2018 14:47

Ohm, my god! Watt a revolting turn of current events. Why were you so amped up to resist hiring a qualified electrician?

Cali 54

Monday 12 November 2018 20:17

While I'm loving these puns, I'm pretty sure OP was the qualified electrician :P

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 November 2018 6:55

Perhaps, but I'm guessing he's a guy who has been to a Lowe's and watched a few YouTube DIY videos.

onceuponatime456 16

Monday 12 November 2018 15:42

Why the hell was the electricity still on if you were hooking up wires?

ayenii 14

Tuesday 13 November 2018 11:57

They weren’t. OP was replacing the box, hence “fitting the box”, not working with wires, let alone live ones.

ojosRojos 28

Monday 12 November 2018 17:29

That’s actually terrifying. Glad you’re okay!

Levvy 22

Monday 12 November 2018 19:13

Well, at least you didn't get bumped into by a spider that was in all likelihood not going to bite you because spider venom is for predation, not defense, and wasting it can get them killed. So, that's a win, right?