By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 960
You deserved it 12 957

Same thing different taste

Top comments

No, **** you. Those jokes are neither clever nor funny. Eat a bowl of dicks.

The big question here is why is your anus so ******* weak? Maybe you should have gone with the small Anal Intruder 3000 rather than the Every1luvsboners Grande size.


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No, **** you. Those jokes are neither clever nor funny. Eat a bowl of dicks.

jennifer93 0

wow #4, tell us how you really feel. but I agree, these comments are very unoriginal

I guess OP's saving money by trying to put out the fire with his crap instead of water or a fire extinguisher.

1- like #4 said: they arent funny anymore. people have over used the pun. so dont do it either.

It's time I introduce to you: The diaper. Shit your pants as much as YOU ******* want. It doesn't matter! : D

Yea.... the joke is wayyyy too overused..... but I think #4 over reacted just a bit.

Overreact? Noooo, I've never overreacted once. Ever. If you honestly believe those jokes are clever, you'd lead a happier (and thankfully shorter), more fulfilling life playing on the autobahn. Simple solutions to simple problems.

FuniiBunii 0

I don't think #4 overeacted I agree with her. These jokes are so annoying , people should get the hint that they are not funny.

The joke wasn't meant to be funny, It was to see how annoyed you dickheads would get after a little while. :)

we're dickheads? look at your photo and say that again..

What is funny is how often the words "shit", "bitch", "bastard", "*****" and "New Jersey" end up in the same FML posts.

PurpleRae420 0

lol I'm sorry that happened to you next time check to make sure everything is ok or sleep with music in your ears so you'll wake up to music! I hope that won't scare you

baby_gore 0
elmogoezRAWR 0

-puts glasses on- YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

malpalll 0

if I had a ******* dollar for every time I saw this comment on a poop FML...

KiddNYC1O 20

Hey, AME, tell it to the eight plus 10 year-olds who voted their comment up! I agree with you, though. You really need to dig deep in the Earth's core for a good pun nowadays, IMO anyways. #57, see #65

Pownzeez 0
skaterpaige 3

how did i know someone was gonna post this ;)

Now we are all we aware what the alarm was trying to tell us.

comment 114 did the exact same joke as 1! come on people let's hang her down in the marketplace!

TropicalTulipz 0

I'm sure # 4 uses epic and viral. those are completely underrated n under used.

is it bad to say they are funny in a stupid way?


look at YOUR photo, and call yourself a ********. easier?

Hey, OP, nothing to feel bad about! Be glad your sympathetic nervous system is working well :D

MfailK 0

#63 you dumb piece of shit, basterd son of a bitch your mother is a *****!!! greetings from New Jersey

uncbballwins 0

Lol 26 I thought you were 1 because your DPs are kinda similar.

why do my comments always get a horribly large number of thumbs down?! I just don't get it!

163 in fact sympathetic does the exact opposite...

AnotherRandomPer 0

Ohhhh I get it, shitty because he shit himself and situation because he's from New Jersey

**** YEAH HOLLYWOOD UNDEQD love u bro lmao

@168: And I left out misspellings. Thanks for reminding me in your post!

What's the finest thing to ever come out of New Jersey? I-95.

81 - if u had a dollar everytime what ? cmon the suspense is killing me ! ;P

snicker476 0
malpalll 0

LOL I'd have AT LEAST $75 :)

josejg 0

haha I get it now to thanks for explaining :D

sabiancymbol 1

it's called a joke. if you really think the joke is stale and unoriginal, don't react at all and show that you indeed have superior knowledge by ignoring it.

v1kt4r 13

What happened to all the FML ppl who know how allmidnighteyes rolls???

#4 do u always take pictures with your glow in the dark ******?

Milly143 3

4- Lmao I couldn't help but laugh at that! xD

KingGeorgeGal 12

I knew someone was going to post something like this when I read the fml, but seriously number 4 he was just trying to joke around take a ******* chill pill. What is the big deal? I bet it made some people laugh.

unknownfork 12

shat is the best word known to man (no pun intended(honestly))

DudeImBetter 0

I love when people don't know what certain literary terms mean, like the people who think that everything funny is ironic.

KiddNYC1O 20

28- That's exactly what I'm thinking.

ifbrockd 0

maybe he/she is still ******** them self's???

bengermin 5

diapers, people... they'd fix all these I shit/pissed/jizzed myself posts...

20, 'shat' is the short form of ass-hat, and that'll be you.

or just people who don't know how to use regular words, like all those folks who mix up random and spontaneous.

Guess he just wanted to be sure everyone knew there wasn't a pun and that this was intended.

CateXOX 0

I think the real FML here is that your fire alarm went off, indicating that you probably had a fire. I woul rather shit myself than burn in my house.

The real thing to 'wow' about is not having anything funny/useful to say about this FML.

KatrinaKitten 16

Why is everyone so mean on here? It's just a comment. Let it be...

172, this is FML, deal with it or go to a less harsh website. kthx.

KatrinaKitten 16

Exactly! But I feel sorry for her :(

Everyone gets their 'thumbs down days' every now and then. It's part of FML.

_Itz_Meena_ 0

I said "wow" because I've never heard of anything like this happening before. also, not every comment on this site will be funny or useful. get over it.

At least it was your alarm at your home not at someone else's?

Now that would have been something to post about... "Today my friends fire alarm went off and it made me shit my pants. FML". I dont see what the big deal is here, I shit myself, oh well i'll just change...

The big question here is why is your anus so ******* weak? Maybe you should have gone with the small Anal Intruder 3000 rather than the Every1luvsboners Grande size.

guitarman1998 0

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha WIN!

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Doc! It seems like you haven't been around in forever.

Doc, Boners: if you guys ever leave this website wouldn't be worth visiting:)

PrettyPink- that sort of thing happens with a newborn in the house. Bastard Jr. > FML

every1luvsvag 10

I went with the Sphincter Smasher 9000 XXL. Best purchase I have ever made. It took a while to work myself up.

question is why do you know so much about the anal intruder...

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha I shat my self laughing!!!


where did you guys get yours at all I could find at walmart was the anal annihilator and for me it's like throwing a hot dog down a hall way

dakins 0

it disturbs me more that u no this than the frightened fire alarm guy


lol i like how u would know the sizes off the top of your head....

Dear Doc, You kick ass. signed, me

Or he could of just gone with some Huggies adult size lol.

damn you actually shit yourself? must've been pretty bad...

OhSoBueno 0

hehe that's like a bit of a pun

kaykay17 0

haha ohhh my... people crack me up

ZombieeeeUnicorn 1

haha my friend says that ALL the time :)

SwaggerMelon 6

A pun? You don't say! You have to be shittin' me, buddy!

jennifer93 0

but at least you weren't caught in a housefire!

too bad! running out of his house with shit in his pants would've been hilarious... for us

we could have a mess on our hands boys

That's a pretty weak ass you've got there...