Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Bonzer 2
Maybe you'll learn something new about toothpicks. I have no idea about their story and I would like to know.
LappDance 16
I hope you brought headphones!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
Forest_Berry95 6
This really wasn't too bad. It was probably a sign. To do something with your life, and get more in touch with your faith.
DocBastard 40
You should have prayed that the old guy would shut the hell up.
StewieGoMad 9
Hey, better than terrorists, am i right? :D ...oh no, too soon? :/
reject214 10
Pretend you don't understand English.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Que?
Eiregal2 10
I hate flying, petrified of it! If this was me the praying man would. Hit my paranoia and I'm thinking he's praying for all our souls before we die in a crash. Other guy? Not bothered. Here's what I do when planes take off. 1)I cling on to the arm of anyone by me, now it would be prayer boy. There may be crying When plain is flying normal 1) order vodka and coke and drink till I feel all fuzzy 2)pop a sleeping pill 3)pop on the earphones and it's music time 4) get shook awake by angry airboss lady. Lol
CountDuk 5
Sounds fun to me... I love when people tell stories :D You can learn much OP, take this great chance! Toothpicks are like the eighth wonder of the world!
interesting33 37
How did the toothpick come to be? Sounds interesting... how DID the toothpick come to be? :)
numbersystem 4
Well someone got food stuck between their teeth. They used their tongue and fingers but they couldnt dislodge the particle. They then stole the brain of hitler kept in a vault in argentina and used it in an ancient egyptian ritual to summon the spirit of leonardo da vinci who then grabbed a small stick and used it to dislodge the food particle.
steve90z 1
So how did they come up with the toothpick?
Old_Iron_Sides 6
Man, you must've been in a fancy plane, 3 seats on each side of the aisle? So, tell me, how did the toothpick come to be?
dunker_fml 4
You have just entered, "The Twilight Zone". And no you young whopper snappers, it has nothing to do with glittery vampires and horny teenagers.
dunker_fml 4
Whipper, stupid autocorrect.