Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
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Top comments
Bonzer 2
Maybe you'll learn something new about toothpicks. I have no idea about their story and I would like to know.
LappDance 16
I hope you brought headphones!
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Comments (142)
LaPush_ 7
I'd go with the toothpick guy
chendaddy 1
Pull out your dick and start playing with it. That generally makes everyone around you shut up and move away. Except in prison. That's a different story.
worldclassrager 41
sounds fun...read or listen to your i-pod...just pray for an open seat that you can switch to...
UndeadRed93 7
the priest would be so much fun to mess with me. make a few satanic refrences and jus watch him freak out for 7 hours.....im messed up
vbmg152 19
Well, how did the toothpick come to be?
OfficeNinja 5
And that is why first class is so expensive. Those guys don't sit there.
captainburke 5
Time to start ordering drinks
Jasonf6 0
Shoulda hauled out the laptop or smartphone and found some satanic verses to read aloud.
jayhawkchik 4
Spring for the $5.00 headphones next time.
RokNRoll11 9
What I would do (I do stuff like this to shut people up) to the priest: you pray to the same god my family did (with a serious face) to their graves And to the toothpick guy: toothpicks also have a history in violence for people being stabbed in the eyes and throat I'm not insane, I act it to shut people up