Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
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Top comments
Bonzer 2
Maybe you'll learn something new about toothpicks. I have no idea about their story and I would like to know.
LappDance 16
I hope you brought headphones!
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Comments (142)
jarockstar27 10
Maybe the priest was praying for the toothpick story to stop :p
BlueFlatts 20
Sometimes headphones can be mans greatest gift.
BlueFlatts 20
On second thought, because of your name, YDI. Listen to the old mans story. It could have been legen - wait for it.
Nyo84 8
-dary. Couldn't just leave ya hanging like that.
wonderbreadman 8
I looked up toothpick history
cassieoreorocks 9
Use the toothpick story to make jokes about tiny pricks, and make the priest super uncomfortable. It may be mean but you will probably get some enjoyment out of it :)
Mandy93 15
That sucks and I feel ur pain. I was once stuck on an oversees flight beside some guy who kept spazzing out and punching me in his sleep. Not very fun.
kate1408 8
Well how did the toothpick come to be?
CougeeSwagg 19
Sounds like a comedy film
conradbaxter97 3
I'd listen to the guy with the toothpick story
pokemonareugly 12
Should've started praying to satan