Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, Rudolph's nose burned out. I had to guide the sleigh. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Claus isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML
Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Well times are hard everybody is having a rough time and down grading.
Pleonasm 36
Your kids learnt the grim reality of life. Santa can't hold his job; it's stressful and only comes one a year. The IRS is up his ass and the missus has had more rides from the elves than Santa gets on his sleigh. Everyone copes some how. So merry christmas you jolly bastard. I'll be leaving you my cookies and milk.
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Comments (107)
ManInTheMachine 20
I would advise your kids to replace the milk and cookies with some nicotine patches and Nicorette gum.
gloria89108 1
This is why I never lied to my kids about the man in red lol
FalconSam1414 19
Haha this FML kind of reminds me of the movie "Bad Santa". I love that movie! :)
Looee 20
That's unfortunate. Bad timing
AidenSurvival 7
Santa's a little bitter from delivering far too many gifts.
Hellbound_Alleee 14
Whether they believe or not, you can still make Christmas magic. I never believed in Santa, but I sucked in all of the fun of believing. After I told my mom I didn't believe, she told me that Santa was a game of make believe that the whole world played. So every Christmastime, everyone plays make-believe. I never felt anything but joy at Christmastime. Yes, we were religious, and we lost it. But we never had a problem making it meaningful. It was not about Jesus, but about loving each other and making the season as wonderful for each other as possible. So, about the Santa--we would have made up a story about him being an imposter just out to make money. The real Santa would never smoke Marlboros. The real Santa smokes a pipe--and he didn't buy what he put in there at any corner store, if you know what I mean.
SophieTheSnail 4
Poor kids! FML to your kids
TheComputerGuy96 16
Just tell him it's easy to dress up, but the real one still exists if you behave and believe... how hard is that?!?!?!?
miroslavracer 0
just shows how bad the identity theft problem is
LiterOfCola 16
Wow, it's sad how many people think YDI for telling your kids about Santa