Miscellaneous: Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was...

By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML

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Miscellaneous

Generosity

Near the knuckle

Can they do that?

By bademployee - United States - Portland

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

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29795

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By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

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By KN - United States

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

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38800

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By friendless - Canada

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

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32503

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By Anon

Not the nuggets!

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing for 5 months over. We got some chicken nuggets, but didn’t eat because he stripped my clothes off and we started having sex. Out of nowhere, he said, "I can’t do this!" and left. He took the chicken nuggets with him. FML

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4772

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

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23018

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By squishy - Canada

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

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By Wanted - United Kingdom - Salford

Today, I got a letter summoning me to court for leaving the scene of a car accident I had in London. I live in Manchester and don't own a car. FML

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By faulty number - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9719

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By Anonymous - 5/12/2020 23:01

Looking good

Today, I was at a grocery store buying ice cream after the tragedy of losing my grandma. When I got to the cash register, the cashier saw the sadness in my eyes and said, "It's OK, you'll find the one someday, one that can look at your inner beauty and not care about the rest." He thought I'd got broken up with. FML

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By totallyscrewedomg - United States

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37292

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By Order of the Dangling Testicles - United States - Astoria

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

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26567

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By Anonymous - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11196

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By Paul Williams - United States

Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML

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34291

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By Anonymous

Today, after not showering with my boyfriend in 3 months, he called me in to the bathroom and asked me to shower with him. After getting excited and ripping my clothes off, I get in and he asks me to wash his hair. FML

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4592

You deserved it

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By thairsha - Japan

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

I agree, your life sucks

24304

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By bellerz14 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25914

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By Amore - France - Bois-colombes

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

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36927

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By KobraKommander - France

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

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7491

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By sly - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

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46990

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By janae

Today, I discovered that I am pregnant. I questioned my boyfriend and he admitted to not using a condom because he thought we were just doing "practice sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks

2836

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By drurbanXVII - United States

Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML

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23202

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By wookieewhosshe

Today, I was informed that my flatmate had not handed his documents in to the new landlord like he'd told me. We are due to move to a new area tomorrow for the new job that I start in 4 days. Now we can't move for another week. Anyone have a spare couch? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1477

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129

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By WellShit - United States - New Richland

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31636

You deserved it

5898

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By thismustbewhyivestrivedtobesmart - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while on vacation, my brother asked a native of the area for help. Once he got it, he thanked them with "muchos gracias" in the best Spanish accent he could do. We're in Japan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10626

You deserved it

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By wellfuckyoutoo - United States - Philadelphia

Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26600

You deserved it

1741

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By kate - United States

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

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48710

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By fuckinghicks - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24847

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By Anonymous - 2/10/2020 02:03 - United States - Cleveland

Inspirational tale

Today, my parents got a call from my principal. I'd been lying that I couldn’t see the work I had to do in my online class, because I was behind and I needed to catch up. Tomorrow my parents are getting a call, telling them the dates I've been logged into the online learning. I haven’t logged in in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

192

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I needed to buy a new helmet. When I got to the sport shop, there was only one left in my size and preferred color. 30 minutes after buying it, my head starts itching. Turns out I paid $40 for lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29847

You deserved it

2452

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By blondie875 - United States

Y'all need fiber.

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3407

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Orlando

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40900

You deserved it

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By EgoMoose - United States

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34307

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

22558

You deserved it

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By saywhat - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18204

You deserved it

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By AgathedeBlouse - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27485

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 7/8/2020 05:00

Happy Birthday!

Today, I turned 37. My acne turned 24, my eating disorder 22, my chronic digestive issues 35 and my insomnia 16. My boobs, on the other hand, look like they just turned 60. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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You deserved it

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By - France

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25252

You deserved it

3741

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By Azure_Mist - United States

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35182

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3118

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Top comments

By Mister_FML_ | 10

#5961387 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:40

Change. But not the gift. Change your family.

By Capitan | 15

#5961395 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:43

Maybe him remembering is the real gift. The charger is just material. Happy birthday!

COMMENTS

By Timpa70 | 18

#5961382 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:39

You should be able to return it.

purpleturtle16 | 20

#5961418 - Saturday 31 May 2014 13:07

Yep. Exactly. Because that's what OP cares about. The gift. (Not the fact that no one in his/her family bothered to remember the day he/she was born)

pandasaresocute | 21

#5961427 - Saturday 31 May 2014 13:29

Happy Birthday OP!

Demig0d6 | 14

#5961730 - Saturday 31 May 2014 21:29

Yeah happy birthday

Pussycat86 | 18

#5961743 - Saturday 31 May 2014 21:45

When I read the part where OP said I don't really need it, the first thought I had in mind was OP doesn't have a car! Happy birthday OP, well you know how smart phone chargers are easily damaged, maybe he thought his last year's present was damaged already and you need a new one! Just saying :)

By Mister_FML_ | 10

#5961387 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:40

Change. But not the gift. Change your family.

By FMLkoala | 28

#5961389 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:41

It's the thought that counts.

Softballchick224 | 21

#5961402 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:46

He didn't do a very good job. Lol Especially since that's what he got him last year!

WhatsYOURname6 | 25

#5961634 - Saturday 31 May 2014 19:37

That's usually how it goes but the problem is is that he didn't seem to put any thought into it at all.

CoGhostRider | 31

#5961693 - Saturday 31 May 2014 21:12

@10 well to be fair there is no way I could keep a car charger for one year.

Metagame | 12

#5963835 - Tuesday 3 June 2014 3:23

Yeah. He was very thoughtful.

teentee401 | 36

#5981370 - Friday 20 June 2014 1:40

You know what I got for my birthday? A pack of cigarettes!

By PinkkyPek | 6

#5961390 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:41

Does he have a phone charger? else you know what to give him for his birthday!

By Softballchick224 | 21

#5961392 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:42

Happy Birthday!!!!(:

By thelittlemissy | 28

#5961393 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:42

Happy birthday!

By Capitan | 15

#5961395 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:43

Maybe him remembering is the real gift. The charger is just material. Happy birthday!

By xThatOneWeirdGuy | 18

#5961396 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:43

At least he remembered it. Happy birthday OP.

By LaLince | 40

#5961398 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:45

Happy birthday!

By AlexRen | 21

#5961403 - Saturday 31 May 2014 12:47

You know what forget everyone else. Go out and do it big for your birthday if you have the money, take like 1 or 2 good friends and have fun!

SweetasCandy0609 | 28

#5961635 - Saturday 31 May 2014 19:38

#11 I'm guessing that OP'S friend's aren't as good as he/she thought they would because if they were then they would of remembered OP'S birthday OP said Only his/her dad remembered.