Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a... - FML

By donguigeek - 24/12/2015 04:32 - France

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23308

You deserved it

1942

Tweet

Share

A beautiful truck decoration

Not a cheating!

Spooky

By Anonymous - 23/10/2010 09:07 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42647

You deserved it

9283

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 11/10/2016 05:23 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11490

You deserved it

2177

Tweet

Share

By jojolee68 - 28/2/2015 19:53 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28790

You deserved it

2777

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/3/2013 19:45 - United States - Piscataway

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38738

You deserved it

3415

Tweet

Share

By story of my life. - 21/2/2009 14:33 - Switzerland

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16126

You deserved it

34311

Tweet

Share

By thanksmom - 30/4/2011 01:00 - United States

Today, my mom paid $40 for overnight shipping on delivery of paint for my Art major dropout sister, but insists on making me wait two weeks for my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50804

You deserved it

3196

Tweet

Share

By Dumbdumb - 15/2/2010 14:29 - United States

Today, at work a really hot guy came up to me and asked "what are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4 but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said "I meant your store hours". He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15648

You deserved it

33068

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:20 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

I agree, your life sucks

35162

You deserved it

3893

Tweet

Share

By Rhine - 16/12/2012 23:51 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33043

You deserved it

14972

Tweet

Share

By rmonk - 24/2/2016 13:13 - United States - Naperville

Today, I went to my required district science fair with my project about gliders and was a bit unprepared in terms of personal knowledge on the science behind gliders. I was hoping I would get a judge who didn't know a lot about aerodynamics. One of my judges was a glider pilot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11662

You deserved it

22766

Tweet

Share

By UGH! - 19/12/2016 18:21 - Canada

Today, I slid into a seat in a very busy foodcourt that was jam packed full of seniors at the mall. It was the only seat available, so I was quick to jump into it. It was soaked with urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7066

You deserved it

836

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53462

You deserved it

15136

Tweet

Share

By nerdygirl101 - 13/3/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31545

You deserved it

4277

Tweet

Share

By Dumped and pregnant - 1/5/2018 05:00

Today, my ex dumped me for his ex that cheated on him. Today, I also found out I am pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML

I agree, your life sucks

4565

You deserved it

442

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/4/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30047

You deserved it

11216

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/4/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10577

You deserved it

35940

Tweet

Share

By Angie - 24/3/2011 19:07 - South Africa

Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40285

You deserved it

4682

Tweet

Share

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32060

You deserved it

2574

Tweet

Share

By WiredUp - 21/8/2020 13:05 - Australia - Brisbane

The struggle is real

Today, my step-kids proudly announced that their mum lets them drink coffee at her house. They both have ADD and I've been struggling for months to get them to eat right. Hello futility. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1263

You deserved it

150

Tweet

Share

By stinkerweeder - 5/2/2011 20:30 - United States

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42676

You deserved it

2993

Tweet

Share

By Lisa - 28/10/2018 22:00

Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3462

You deserved it

279

Tweet

Share

By Blake Lawrence - 26/11/2012 18:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26706

You deserved it

2594

Tweet

Share

By Anonyme - 9/7/2011 00:11 - France

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12945

You deserved it

83660

Tweet

Share

By macaroni17 - 10/4/2014 02:33 - United States - New Oxford

Today, we had a speaking assessment in Spanish class. When it was my turn, I yawned in the middle of a sentence, said "excuse me" and finished my sentence. She took points off because I hesitated and I spoke in English, not Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40889

You deserved it

12739

Tweet

Share

By Ceej - 30/7/2011 21:06 - United States

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

47510

You deserved it

6651

Tweet

Share

By tiptoesjohnson - 19/1/2012 23:26

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8438

You deserved it

82983

Tweet

Share

By anon - 10/6/2012 21:14 - United Kingdom - Romsey

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29233

You deserved it

5089

Tweet

Share

By fuglymug - 8/1/2016 21:48 - United States - Appleton

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

I agree, your life sucks

26341

You deserved it

2333

Tweet

Share

By sullry - 25/12/2019 05:00

Great solution

Today, I had a talk with my roommate that last semester my grades took a bit because he stays up late every night playing video games. And then asked him about playing less, so I can get more sleep. Today also, he gave me a pair of ear plugs and asked if they would solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1527

You deserved it

787

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/10/2015 18:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26861

You deserved it

2641

Tweet

Share

By freakingout - 4/9/2012 21:55 - United States - Roslyn

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24903

You deserved it

4593

Tweet

Share

By SwimSquid - 15/4/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

136278

You deserved it

8067

Tweet

Share

By haqL - 15/11/2013 22:51 - Mexico - Quer?taro

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41441

You deserved it

4872

Tweet

Share

By shadysheikh - 29/10/2014 04:55 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35628

You deserved it

9055

Tweet

Share

By Leaving Early Fail - 12/1/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17146

You deserved it

11490

Tweet

Share

By random - 29/1/2012 10:53 - United Kingdom

Comforter

Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35415

You deserved it

5376

Tweet

Share

By getmeoutofthiscountry - 19/7/2013 19:06 - United States

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60999

You deserved it

4067

Tweet

Share

By Downanout - 4/5/2019 18:00

Today, I found out I did so horrible during my interview that I didn’t even get a rejection email. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1570

You deserved it

218

Tweet

Share

By Not a day over 35 - 18/6/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59512

You deserved it

5716

Tweet

Share

By losthusband - 11/10/2020 20:01 - United States

Hello from the other side

Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML

I agree, your life sucks

981

You deserved it

162

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

No comments yet.

COMMENTS

No comments yet.