Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML
Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people, hoping to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
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Top comments
Whytetrash 21
Those are some serious self-esteem issues you have there.
kingsian 15
At least it was a dream and not reality. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Comments (78)
mndlz 6
At least you had sex..... I always wake up just before I get laid in dreams. Perhaps I need help LOL !
HomoIndomitus 4
Guess you need practice.
Albarufus 13
Haha I feel your pain! I use condoms in my sex dreams xD
janro72 10
well he did have a dick, RIGHT?
justkush 0
Sweetie, go to a bar and get laid
kingjanic 1
Same thing happens to me all the time!(although a little differently because i'm a guy)
stavik96 0
I've dreamed I fisted a hot woman, had sex with a ugly woman on some big rocks by the sea and having sex with a girl my age in my bed when my sister came in. I hate how my dreams never turn out well.
coocoloky 12
Don't you mean your dream lover HAS a dick?