Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML
Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people, hoping to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
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Top comments
Whytetrash 21
Those are some serious self-esteem issues you have there.
kingsian 15
At least it was a dream and not reality. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Comments (78)
MarisaCB 16
Is it that hard to find a guy? I'm not promoting sex with strangers, but I mean... a lot of FMLers seem to complain about being forever alone. So why don't they find each other and be... together alone!
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Noor, you don't even have a basement. Stop lying to these people!
mangoboy1 19
They me be forever alone and desperate but they still have standards.
DocBastard 38
Marisa, I think you answered your own question. If it were really that easy to find someone, there wouldn't be so many people complaining about being alone.
perdix 29
#18, but the difference is: Even if you are terrible in bed, I'd never tell you. I'd politely give you credit for making the effort. :)
BellaBelle_fml 23
perdix, always the perfect gentleman.
ICastillo 24
Yup, I'm sure to Perdix the girl always comes first.
vbmg152 18
You need counseling! Something in your own head is holding you back. You gotta love yourself before you can love someone else!!
MNBOY16 15
As long as you got yours...
DocBastard 38
I think the real FML is that your subconscious is telling you that you're lousy in bed.
DumbingOfAmerica 9
Good for you for only want to have sex when in a relationship. YDI for you complaining about not having sex in over a year! Females have it way easier when it comes to having casual sex. So don't bitch about it when you're not getting it. Just go out there and get some strange!
BellaBelle_fml 23
How is it much easier for females to have casual sex over men having causal sex? I don't know where you're coming from with that sort of logic. It seems to me that there is a massive double standard when it comes to females and males having casual sex. Females tend to be pressured into not having one night stands and such by people calling them ***** or ****** when men are practically encouraged and even praised for 'bagging a ho' on a one night stand. It just doesn't make sense to me I guess.
CharresBarkrey 15
You praise her for not going out and having casual sex, and then immediately condemn her for not doing so. Tell me how that makes sense.
BigSexy123 11
I like his name "DumbingOfAmerica", because he's doing exactly that. What an asshole.
DumbingOfAmerica 9
My first statment was facetious. It sounds as if she is complaining about not have sex, when there is nothing wrong with not having sex in over a year. I'm not speaking of any double standards here, just the opinion that if a female want to have a one night stand, it would be easier for her to go out and find a willing male than if a male went out looking for the same. Thank you for the complement. I pride myself on being an asshole.
smottpoker 7
because women hold the power when it comes to sex, most of the time.
Tgo19053 15
"Dump him" is popular advice on here, so do that.
panicsdisaster 17
Seems emo...
Murooj 6
I am sure you will find someone who will love you no matter what
ethereana 2
keep going smile and look on perhaps you should initiate the dreams do. tell something
lashes_to_ashes 14
Awwww baby