Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML
Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people, hoping to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
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Top comments
Whytetrash 21
Those are some serious self-esteem issues you have there.
kingsian 15
At least it was a dream and not reality. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Comments (78)
broomy89 8
No it doesn't mean he's a dick it means you need to get your head out of your arse!
lowshadows 21
FML should start their own matchmaking site.
Satoaoi 13
it's just a dream. there's someone for everyone. alot of people don't think so until it happens. so you just gotta hang in there
Scotticus117 11
all dreams are based on randomly put together past memories. whether you realize it or not. so apparently some guy did think you sucked in bed. but hey just wake up smell the coffee. and get out there. not all dreams are meant to come true. the real world is where we really experience things.
enigma575 2
The only way to get better is practice.. Safely of course.
sugarbear0727 19
That sucks. Dress up nice, and find a nice look dude to bang. I'm not saying do this all the time, but it does relax you, and it boost your confidence about yourself for a while. Search online for some techniques to use in bed, if you are insecure about your abilities in bed. They definitely help. I know that its preferred to be in a relationship when having sex with someone, but sometimes you just need a one night stand to prove you can still get a guy. It is stupid that there is that double standard about one night stands, but don't let it discourage you. If you want to get laid, go get laid. (:
Arcaderat90 7
Someone's automatically a dick for making an observation?
bagels101 1
doesn't mater had sex
Erick_lawl 6
I'm assuming that since you're into men, your dream lover will be a dick. Unless you wanna date a man with a ******.
icepick23 12
Sex is fun