Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML
Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I had a very sweet and romantic love note brutally scratched into the door of my brand new car. It was addressed to Cindy. Cindy lives next door. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML
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Top comments
AkshaySauce 5
At least you're hot
gingerrrr88 11
Take it as a compliment?
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Comments (105)
pexy_fml 16
Happy ever after ?
deathtothepix 26
Empty driveway? Please tell me this was attached to an empty house?
I_Punch_Babies 7
it obviously wasnt an empty house since the driveway belonged to the person that wrote the note on OPs windshield...unless it was a ghost.
deathtothepix 26
Haha I was just trying to point out the absolute stupidity of using someone's driveway just because he doesn't use it. Wonder if she used his garden too.
kaybay16 0
Valid question!
I_Punch_Babies 7
why couldnt you use your own driveway?
auzz1_pride 9
Maybe OP doesn't have a driveway :O, or she is married and her driveway is already taken?
mscat 0
Its rude to park in someone's driveway.
forthelove82 7
How about you park in your own driveway?
ShazzRandom 7
He wants to use your garage
friedbunnies 9
If you didn't have those boobs you'd be carless.
Jewnut 0
are you saying her breasts bought her the car? do they also work as well... who needs a creepy neighbor when you got boobs that can literally pay the bills.
Ugi 27
I suspect that 41 is saying: 1) If the house-owner did not find the OP attractive then he would most likely have acted on the reflex to call the police and have her car impounded. She would thus be lacking a motor vehicle and be, so to speak, "carless". 2) If the OP was not female then the chances are that the house-owner would not find her attractive (see 1 above). 3) The fact that the OP has breasts ("boobs") is indicative of the fact that she is of the female gender and thus potentially attractive to the house-owner (see 1 and 2 above). Thus we can imply that had the OP not had breasts (and thus been of the male gender) she would not have been found attractive to the house-owner and therefore would not have been immune from the owner's understandable tendency to have a trespassing vehicle forcibly removed and so would have been rendered "carless". This premise was summarised with most commendable brevity by #41 in the phrase: "If you didn't have those boobs you'd be carless." Please try to pay attention.
aj_alex 0
Your hot and that's all that matters. Forget the note.
brigante45 5
Stop parking there and give the guy a chance!