Beat his ass!!

Borrow his jackhammer.....

And slobber on it!

Or use your own jackhammer on his wife, and get her to slobber on it. Or you could slobber on her Whatever.

Or just hit him with it

Can I just say that fmls are really starting to get to the point where it's really not a big deal?! I'm not sure which bothers me more; this one, or the one with the woman who was so annoyed by the guy who says 'literally' a lot.

What's so special about this pen u couldn't say just keep it?

They're insanely expensive

Go and chew on his power tools.

Make sure to leave lots of spit, like he did to your pen! Remember ratios. A little spit on small pen - lots of spit on large tools!

*power tools in background Mr. Doback: Are those power tools? Mrs. Huff: idk, they shouldn't be. Mr. D: Hey Dale! No power tools! Dale: What, nah, I'm just brushing my teeth! Mr. D: That is not your toothbrush! :D

54, da faq?

Step brothers. In case anyone didn't get that.

Avoid the drill. And the saw. Dear god, AVOID THE SAW.

Oh god... Mental images... I might make this a comic later

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You can read, congrats.

^nice. Should we give him a cookie now?

Yes. *hands him cookie*

*steals cookie* He doesn't deserve that cookie!

*takes cookie from you* catch me if you can im the gingerbread man!

*takes cookie away* Yep.

I cringed while reading this!!!

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I hate when people try to be dicks.

I hate when people try to be dicks to other dicks and it completely backfires.

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Sorry if it looked like I was refferring to you(even though I didn't make contact to you in any way) but no I mean't in general when this happens. And if I was, I would have been supporting you not shoving it up your ass. And if you were not trying why did you say it didn't backfire?

29, I believe 27 was responding to 6's comment... Just like you were... Since these replies ALL go to his comment. Not everything is about or to you (except this) just sayin.

#29 Narcissist *cough cough*

Ya, that makes sense. Someone was nice enough to let you borrow their pen and you would fuck it up, on purpose no less? Good job.

In my defense, it looked like he was referring to my comment even without actually saying it to me.

now part of him will always be with you

He chewed on your pen? Chew on his soul!!!!

I don't think that's ..... Nevermind

Sanatize it and move on with your life.

A rational response? Clearly you never got the memo.

I had rationality once... I seem to have misplaced it... :/

How could you be do cruel to say that?? It's a Parker! Btw does that mean it is some special pen? Unless you are a writer, a pen is a pen. They all look the same on paper. Get some bic pens and quit whining.

127- I'm not entirely sure who your rant is aimed at... Care to clarify?

Yes, OP should sanitize the pen

Think about it, FYL because of a pen? Oh sorry a Parker pen?

Just buy a pack of ten from Target......

I agree with 18. Ydi for 1. spending that much on a pen, and 2. Letting someone borrow a pen that expensive. Seriously op you could get several pilot pens for the price of one Parker pen, and pilots are great.

18- better yet- buy a 25 pack from the dollar store. ;) I've honestly never heard of Parker pens... But in my experience, a pen is a pen... Unless you get into art pens... Which are a whole other ball game

They're amazing though. It's like a Rolex or some nice branded watch vs a digital watch for ten bucks. To each their own, and as for me, i love nice pens and crappy friends aren't a reason to not buy nice things

This pen better write in gold ink...

Maybe the OP didn't buy it. I was given a MontBlanc pen as a graduation gift. I didn't spend money for it. Expensive pens seem to be a popular gift idea for that occasion. I love it! But I keep it at home with my check book. I wouldn't want to lose it. :o

57 has it right. At the end of the day, a pen is still a pen. They are used to write. Does it really heighten the 'experience' when writing with one that is overpriced? If it mattered so much to OP, he could have simply asked the worker to not gnaw on it. I'm sure he would have been understanding.

Well it should be a FML b/c dude paid more than a few bucks for a pen. His post should have gone something like this: Today, I realized I pay way to much for pens when a construction worker asked to borrow my pen and slobbered all over it, FML..

Why is everyone criticizing the OP for buying an expensive pen? I don't care if he spent fifteen cents or fifty dollars on the pen; he kindly lent it out to someone and they CHEWED on it. That's beyond rude and disgusting! I would be upset too!

They are like 40$ just for the generic. It's ridiculous. It's just fancy casing on ordinary ink. Some of the Parker pens are like 500 $

There are pens that write in proprietary metal alloy "ink". I used quotes because it actually works more like a pencil.

Also, there are pens with pressurized ink cartridges which allow them to write on greasy surfaces and IN SPACE!!! One is called the Space Pen because of this.

Oooooh!!! Is that the Seinfeld space pen???