Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML
Fate
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML
Decisions, decisions
Today, my marriage is one week away. Despite all the challenges we faced during COVID, we powered through everything. Today is also the day my work decided to tell me they're letting me go. I now have to either go on my improvised honeymoon or job hunt. FML
Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML
High pressure environment
Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML
Brief break
Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
Can't turn it off
Today, I got a new job where one of my co-workers is someone I have been in love with for over 5 years now. She's married but my feelings for her just won't go away. FML
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Keep cool
Today, after searching for a job for over a year now, I finally got an interview. The pressure made me so nervous that I passed out in the middle of it. FML
Run!
Today, we had a family day at my new job. I used to have a very abusive boss in my previous position, who even slapped one co-worker across the face in the office, prompting me to quit. Guess who turns out to be my new manager's wife… FML
Top comments
SerendipityRose 26
Love you too, honey... Yikes.
JustKittyKat 24
Well, someone doesn't get any celebratory cake and alcohol.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
txguitarslinger 7
Well... Don't.
kipfischer 11
Quit being such a bitch
sicmind 1
Well if you've blown it in the past, you obviously have a history of Going positive... then crashing with loss of work. Just tell her how you feel about it really. If you guys talk... just say, "hey... when you said don't **** it up," "I've been depressed because I've not been given the opportunity to provide like a man should, when you said that it just made me feel like shit and its eating at me." - Nothing more, nothing less. She'll get the hint that it actually bothers you. Leaving it hang as is... will only lead to resentment between you guys. If you're a sarcastic humor kind of person normally and lately just depressed. She probably doesn't understand that you're depressed. She might only see the stronger, sarcastic humor guy that would have laughed that off. You gotta talk to her about that shit or your marriage is going to blow up, that resentment pile only builds so high before it falls over on top of you.
spitonmydick 4
This guy sounds like a ******* pussy
taka805 10
Haha!!! If that's not love, I don't know what love is!!! Kinda makes you wonder.... How many have you lost already???
The_Decider 8
There's 2 sides to thid
The_Decider 8
This
destroyaday 1
She probably knows you better than all of us!
tonygar 18
Just hang in there & prove her wrong
CrazyChickens721 5
I'm glad she stayed with you the whole time!! But maybe rather than fake words of encouragement... she spoke her mind?
JamilaLei 4
She's just keeping it real though..