By Anonymous - 17/01/2013 10:43 - United States

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 391
You deserved it 9 510

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Top comments

Love you too, honey... Yikes.

Well, someone doesn't get any celebratory cake and alcohol.

Comments

So mm.... Positive....

HAH this sounds like something my mom would have told me! Does anyone else get that vibe about your parents lmao

Maybe he is just a fuck up... And can't keep a job down? I know people like that!

Love you too, honey... Yikes.

That's just it, #2, she probably does love him. It's just that she knows him too well.

Well, someone doesn't get any celebratory cake and alcohol.

And she's definitely not going to be down for celebratory sex.

Was that a double entendre?

The cake is a lie.

not so shure getting a job is a good reason to drink... if you end up overdoing it youll probably have to start looking for a new job all over again... i dont know how many bosses and or managers think comming in on the first day with a hangover as making a good impression... just saying

93. I never implied that OP should drink on a work night. And Never did I suggest he go over the top.

Don't take it too seriously, she was probably on her period.

Yes, because ALL girls who act like asshats are on their period. (Sarcasm)

Don't take it too seriously, jjessen, he's probably just a dick

Yes, cause ALL men who act like dicks are... Ok, I guess I reached a dead end on this one :(

"Because ALL men who joke about periods are dicks" might've worked xD But you don't get the "acts like" with this way.

Even when I'm on my period, I'm still way nicer than that...and I get terrible PMS mood swings. Something as mean as that doesn't come from hormones. Even if it were hormone related, she would have apologized for the outburst once the mood roller coaster shifted later, thus he wouldn't have had to write on FML.

Well its kinda positive but yea it was a little harsh. Good luck with the job

... P...M...S...

I vote for pardon my stupidity! Or pass my shotgun, but that could turn out pretty messy :/

Please Make Sandwich..who do you mistaken me for?!? Oh, guys she was sarcastic, Pardon My Sarcasm.

It stands for Perpetual Motion Squad.

pooping massive shit pardoned murdering sister pissed macho samurai

Please more sex? Pawn my scooter? Partly mauled scorpion?

Tell her she should try to be a supportive wife. Congratulations on your new venture! Make the best of it! :)

I’m being the devil’s advocate there but who is to say that OP was so reliable professionally before? Maybe she said that because he is in the habits to screw things up and get fired. Either way, this situation calls for a serious talk on each other’s feelings.

Similar thought has come to my mind, maybe the OP has influenced somehow the lost of his previous job. but anyway, finding a job is hard and she should be at least supportive about that! Congrats OP, I hope everything will go as you want it to ;)

#49- I'm guessing you're not a very supportive partner. Regardless, everyone screws up sometimes, OP's wife needs to be there for him no matter what. That's what marriage is about.

#83 > You clearly misunderstood my post, wilfully or not, I don't know. I was the devil's advocate because most comments were bashing the wife. What do you think I meant by "this calls for a serious talk about each other's feelings"? His wife should tell him why she feels that he might screw up and he should tell her that her comment was harsh and hurt him. That's what marriage is about: communication.

Well if you are raising a family and got fired from your last job, i can see from where she she gets her point.

She could still say it nicely...

I wonder if the wife is working at all.

Yeah, I get that a lot, too. Let's face it. FML is a lot more fun and rewarding than some dumb ol' job. The job just pays the bills ;)

Pffft, who needs whoever is giving you grief, when you've got me? ;)

You also can enjoy reading other peoples misery in life. Reading FMLs is always the best part of my day.

*part* of your day? noob!

Yes, yes, leave the cubicles and and cash registers behind. Throw off the shackles of corporate oppression, leave your dead end jobs and come with us. It's so beautiful. *dabs eye with hankecheif. Oops time to take my meds.