Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML
Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML
Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML
Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
Today, while arguing with my husband, I asked him what was making him so angry. He threw a spoon at the kitchen floor and yelled, “I AM NOT ANGRY!!!!” FML
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Top comments
augiedd 12
Any little victory helps
Welshite 40
Don't listen to the lies they feed you. Ketchup is a vegetable and mustard is a fruit!
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Comments (122)
10showgirl 16
try a different medicine... mine works great. i take celexa.
Pilos_in_manu_fml 7
Ketchup is (mainly) made from Tomato, which is a fruit. God knows why so many people think tomatoes are vegetables.... As for the depression... well I hope you overcome it OP, it's not a nice thing to have (experience talking), and some people can be real jerks about it, but just stick with it and you'll get over it eventually :)
organolithium_fml 9
Wasn't tomato sauce on pizza considered a vegetable?
pugpuggy 21
But... But... I thought I was getting my five-a-day.... Mmmm... Pizza...
darkfireflame 15
Hey, Schadenfrude is an emotion.
canofpain 2
Ketchup is a fruit
mchmelev1993 10
FAIL
ZeroProxy 4
mustard is cabbage seeds crushed into a paste.
ninja_darkstar 6
K that sucks, but if you are married to that much of an idiot, then I feel REALLY bad for you...
KellyB36 2
It is a vegetable