Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML
Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML
Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML
Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
Today, while arguing with my husband, I asked him what was making him so angry. He threw a spoon at the kitchen floor and yelled, “I AM NOT ANGRY!!!!” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
augiedd 12
Any little victory helps
Welshite 40
Don't listen to the lies they feed you. Ketchup is a vegetable and mustard is a fruit!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (122)
Sirmrcrowley 12
Ketchup is a fruit paste!! And oddly enough it's very unpleasant to ********** with!!....or so I've been told.....
worldclassrager 41
Tomato is a fruit...does that make ketchup a smoothie? Every little thing helps with depression OP...you'll be back soon
Janushka 2
Ketchup is a natural mellowing agent.
Luna7295 3
Depression sucks. Antidepressants suck even more for some people.
name_loading 19
Technically speaking, I believe a tomato, is both a fruit and a vegetable. Considering the words "fruit" and "vegetable" come from the words "fruitage" and "vegetation", all the plants we eat could be classified as either one. On a serious and encouraging note, I'm very sorry you are in a constant state of apathy, OP. I've had similar experiences with my own depression and testing various medications. I hope you eventually start feeling better, lethargy is almost worse than complete agitation.
Ki11erC 18
Following that logic weeds are vegetables.
alicat13 12
Your the fruit, ketchup is a vegetable.
Ki11erC 18
*YOU'RE* incorrect.
81arctic 4
Sounds like a happy home.
daddysgirl8 21
You should talk to your Doctor, if your anti-depressants are too strong they can make you either over emotional or not emotional at all. If that makes sense. I'm on 20mgs of prozac and when I went up to 30mgs I was crying over my socks...
guyyoudontknow 7
In large enough quantities it actually is. So is pizza. .
maty172 14
but tomato is a fruit... or is this some sick universe where we are fruits and tomatoes eat us :O
Shade1982 21
@62: No. Just... No! Quantity has nothing to do with it, source of object does. "Vegetable": "Of, relating to, or derived from plants or a plant"
amisenho 11
Agreed. All fruits are vegetables, but not all vegetables are fruit. Since the tomato is the ovary of the plant (seeds and pulp inside are evidence of this) from which it's derived, tomatoes are, by definition, fruits as well as vegetables. Fruits don't *have* to be sugary sweet to be considered a fruit. On the other hand, the way we typically define "vegetable" refers to the particular part of the plant that is used in cooking (i.e., the edible part of the carrot plant is the root, so it's considered a vegetable and not a fruit; same goes for potatoes).
holliepong 8
At least it's joy! Cheer up OP!