Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML
Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML
Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML
Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
Today, while arguing with my husband, I asked him what was making him so angry. He threw a spoon at the kitchen floor and yelled, “I AM NOT ANGRY!!!!” FML
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Top comments
augiedd 12
Any little victory helps
Welshite 40
Don't listen to the lies they feed you. Ketchup is a vegetable and mustard is a fruit!
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Comments (122)
alex_gen 39
I don't understand... a tomato is both a fruit and vegetable. So wouldn't you both be wrong?
wickedcharm 15
The government actually Mage ketchup a vegetable.
Levvy 22
I think you should double check your sorcerers- er, sources.
bzakly 3
I wish there was a button for "Way to go!" I have been on anti depressants as well when I was in the military, and I know how dull they can make life. You crushed his stupid assed argument that we can all thank Ronald Reagan for. Rejoice in your victory!
bv2332 10
For all of you who keep saying ketchup is a vegetable tomatoes are a fruit.... Think before you speak idots
Allornone 35
um, they're joking. I've read through the comments so far, and only one seems to be legitimately confused as to what ketchup is. The rest seem to be speaking in jest.
SouthernLady12 13
Are idots vegetables as well?
marcranger 29
54, since there's no evidence of higher brain functions, that's the only logical explanation.
91hayek 31
This sounds like the kind of argument I would start, but then realize I was wrong, and then just start questioning the reality of everything else to obfuscate. "What are we really? How do you know its a fruit? What is consciousness? What are words?"
EndOfSekrets 13
Anti-depressants can be awful. You're lucky you felt some joy. :)
t48135 5
A September 1981 Reuters piece stated "ketchup, which has a high sugar content, was defined under new Government (this is the USA under the Regan administration) rules as a vegetable".
Ki11erC 18
And this is why we don't listen to Americans. Explains a lot about the eating habits though. Here have some chips and some "vegetable" purée.
DanielleinDC 34
I resemble that remark, #83. I can't help that some idiot sock puppet president declared ketchup a vegetable so the government could reduce funding for school lunches and keep within some arbitrary recommended dietary guidelines. I was a kid then myself.
Guardian88 21
You mean tomato is a veggie?? It must be true cause theres a tomato on VEGGIE TALES lol what now?!?
carbivore 10
As someone who's been dealing with depression for years and on and off medication, if you don't feel ANYTHING, it's not working right. Talk to your doctor and try a new one.
Razi_tail 25
That's what I was thinking. My anti-depressants allow me to still have feeling just not the roller coaster I was before of highs and lows. Please follow 41's suggestion and talk to your doctor OP!
pandalover69 26
If this is this first time you've been happy in a while then don't feel bad about it, enjoy it. You got to be right! Let yourself have this one. Your husband will get over it.