Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When...

By greenblue90 - 14/6/2010 13:50 - United States

Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31710

You deserved it

4216

Favorite

Health

Messed up

Trust

Keep the peace

By 88_OP - 25/7/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33352

You deserved it

3937

Favorite

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 15/12/2018 23:00 - United States - University Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3259

You deserved it

323

Favorite

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55146

You deserved it

6245

Favorite

By wtf is wrong with my country - 8/5/2012 17:57 - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36131

You deserved it

3590

Favorite

By NoPainNoGain - 5/6/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57340

You deserved it

26382

Favorite

By Nalya - 9/1/2009 03:38 - France

Today, my boss told me that we are having a big meeting tomorrow, with lots of important people. Before leaving the room he added "Please, tomorrow, try to dress better." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20779

You deserved it

6363

Favorite

By unknown relationship - 28/6/2013 05:23 - United States - Shorewood

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47293

You deserved it

3133

Favorite

By Lea - 16/1/2012 20:18 - Denmark

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33547

You deserved it

3289

Favorite

By santasadiekins - 17/8/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34523

You deserved it

4822

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/5/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tip toed out of the room did I realize that my cell phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47065

You deserved it

7682

Favorite

By daisyann - 15/7/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for the first time. When the officer came up to my window, I immediately burst out into tears due to nervousness. He kept asking me for my licence and registration. Hysterical, I wasn't able to comply. He arrested me for not cooperating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22607

You deserved it

55396

Favorite

By ihatekids - 20/4/2015 16:57 - United States - Billerica

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31065

You deserved it

3689

Favorite

By WTF - 30/12/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28843

You deserved it

6513

Favorite

By epicgamer - 13/9/2016 02:55 - United States - Fremont

Today, my extremely racist coworker was doing his usual thing. Since it was 9/11 he went absolutely hardcore on his "jokes" so I reported it to my supervisor. She asked what did he say specifically and I recited it to her. She decided to write me up for "making inappropriate comments at work". FML

I agree, your life sucks

13950

You deserved it

1293

Favorite

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/4/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12246

You deserved it

2757

Favorite

By ItaliczZz - 12/10/2011 08:13 - Australia

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29450

You deserved it

5659

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/3/2009 18:52 - United States

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

108837

You deserved it

11762

Favorite

By Noname - 28/1/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I woke up at 5:15, snow blowed and salted the driveway for over an hour, left early and drove an hour on shitty roads just to get to work on time only to be laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38756

You deserved it

1858

Favorite

By period_probs - 16/12/2014 01:23 - United States - King George

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34415

You deserved it

2999

Favorite

By icybrent94 - 5/8/2012 20:21 - United Kingdom - Arlesey

Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7163

You deserved it

40240

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/3/2013 21:33 - United States - Lutz

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50029

You deserved it

25732

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/8/2015 05:15 - United States - Mineola

Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22239

You deserved it

11455

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/4/2014 11:30 - Australia - Maribyrnong

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45039

You deserved it

10511

Favorite

By BarBacked - 15/4/2013 07:31 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54464

You deserved it

4073

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/8/2017 00:30 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, after weeks of complaints and an engineer call-out for our photocopier, it turns out that all faults are user errors, and it's now my job to 'idiot proof' the printer. The people I work for are all educated on a Master's / PhD level and are responsible for cancer patient treatment at a major hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3800

You deserved it

313

Favorite

By suspicious - 5/7/2013 02:26 - United States

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45058

You deserved it

2935

Favorite

By fatman - 10/8/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31586

You deserved it

11479

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36419

You deserved it

3460

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/4/2020 20:00

Smooth

Today, I turned 30. I still can't grow any facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1433

You deserved it

209

Favorite

By Unfortunate Painter - 23/11/2012 02:56 - United States - Merced

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23695

You deserved it

3248

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/9/2009 22:01 - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20104

You deserved it

61069

Favorite

By SkottLong - 10/3/2015 06:19 - United States - Logan

Today, I showed my father a nice sweatshirt online, hoping he would take the hint and get it for me. He did, three sizes larger than mine, for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30235

You deserved it

8327

Favorite

By JOTA - 7/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Jonah begs to differ

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1017

You deserved it

298

Favorite

By crawfo - 31/8/2009 13:54 - Australia

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49175

You deserved it

12022

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/11/2010 18:16 - France

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27694

You deserved it

15690

Favorite

By MissTrix - 29/10/2010 00:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31831

You deserved it

7337

Favorite

By - 14/1/2017 08:00

Today, I have peace of mind that I am not pregnant, thanks to my IUD. It's not because of the effectiveness of the contraceptive, but my inability to touch my boyfriend. I haven't stopped bleeding since my doctor installed it 3 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5580

You deserved it

662

Favorite

By FreakedOut - 31/7/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54958

You deserved it

2801

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/12/2016 00:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23039

You deserved it

1661

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/9/2019 02:02

Capitalism 101

Today, a massive septic tank that takes waste from 11 factories exploded. The wind is blowing directly towards us. Even with closed windows, no amount of perfume helps. There's no escape. People have puked. We've still got 4 hours of production and management doesn't care about the workers outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1698

You deserved it

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Stumblebum30 | 5

#1030261 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:15

He's probably the reason you're on Prozac in the first place...

By TaylorTotsYumm | 10

#1030241 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:08

If I only knew what Prozac does..

COMMENTS

By Pikachu206 | 2

#1030230 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:05

Lol how nice of him.

jleon | 0

#1030240 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:08

punch his nuts and tell him you want to test his Viagra.

transam87 | 0

#1030264 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:16

Prozac is so 1999

kaitidid16 | 0

#1030266 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:17

maybe he wants to test out how much he can get away with while your on it lol

FMLRevoluSean | 0

#1030271 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:19

Well it's a good idea to test it out so you're not wasting yo time.

bbygirlsmiles | 0

#1030273 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:20

#3 - Yesss ! Agreed (= Lol

bonicr | 0

#1030283 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:24

#3 ftw

fylhahahaha | 0

#1030315 - Monday 14 June 2010 20:01

obviously it's not working if you were upset enough about it to post it on here.

coldblood | 4

#1030330 - Monday 14 June 2010 20:12

number 3 epic win.

MrCalves | 1

#1030338 - Monday 14 June 2010 20:21

he was just making sure it worked...

fartsareyummy | 0

#1030343 - Monday 14 June 2010 20:27

#3 = win

Melissa92_fml | 13

#1030358 - Monday 14 June 2010 20:51

3, total win

seanders | 10

#1030362 - Monday 14 June 2010 20:59

Smart guy, just wants to test his boundaries

KiddNYC1O | 20

#1030387 - Monday 14 June 2010 22:12

cool story, bro

mona_is_here | 10

#1030429 - Monday 14 June 2010 23:12

Prozac is a rather weak antidepressant though it helps sometimes.. Dire straits and all.

mona_is_here | 10

#1030431 - Monday 14 June 2010 23:16

Btw he's just lucky you only have depression, not anger problems otherwise he'd get punched in the face for the outrageous joke

DirtyTaco | 0

#1030459 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 0:08

Get back in the kitchen........

iSwag | 0

#1030610 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 6:09

lol

jsn0x | 0

#1030633 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 7:09

listen to prozac milkshake by psychostick- good song lol

bbygirlsmiles | 0

#1030708 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 9:18

#80 - I Like Your Pic (:

BangOut | 2

#1030807 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 12:14

#88 Today, I got dateraped by a black guy whom I liked because of his gay duck lips, I got AIDS now. FML

iSwag | 0

#1031139 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 18:40

thanks :) like your dress

SaturnE_fml | 0

#1031549 - Wednesday 16 June 2010 1:34

#3 - Stick a 9-volt battery on your clit for thinking that's acceptable. Keep doing it.

bbygirlsmiles | 0

#1031649 - Wednesday 16 June 2010 2:38

#99 - Hahah Why Thank You :) I Like Your .. Eye Color Lol :p

flame1819 | 0

#1031712 - Wednesday 16 June 2010 3:18

#1
NICE PIC!!!
Pikachu is still awesome.

By tyler3 | 0

#1030238 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:07

haha

By TaylorTotsYumm | 10

#1030241 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:08

If I only knew what Prozac does..

jleon | 0

#1030255 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:13

anti depressant

By Samantha_baby | 0

#1030243 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:09

Prozac?

radmuffin | 12

#1030257 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:14

It's a depression med.

FAFP!!!!!!! times infinity

seanders | 10

#1030484 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 1:35

it's ok your not expected to know much at age 12

Samantha_baby | 0

#1030541 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 4:34

ok, really? I'm not the only one who asked..

RyGan | 0

#1030653 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 8:01

FAFP is?

beccaccio550 | 0

#1030665 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 8:49

fuck anti flood protection

Bloodbathandbeyo | 0

#1030816 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 12:43

Seanders: the basic failure troll

By julie3841 | 11

#1030244 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:10

heh, thanks babe.

By macy_rebecca | 0

#1030254 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:13

I agree with # 3 lol !!

amandalovee | 0

#1030376 - Monday 14 June 2010 21:46

my thoughts exactly!

By semodrunk | 0

#1030259 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:14

Prozac is for anxiety attacks n I think it's like an anti-depressant?

mona_is_here | 10

#1030435 - Monday 14 June 2010 23:18

Prozac is for depression and benzodiazepines (clonazepam etc) are for anxiety

kritz0 | 10

#1030565 - Tuesday 15 June 2010 5:06

Actually they prescribe it for Social anxiety too.

By Stumblebum30 | 5

#1030261 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:15

He's probably the reason you're on Prozac in the first place...

By jennybelly | 0

#1030263 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:16

haha wow he's a fudging dumbass!! you should do what number three suggested lol!!

By damnatory | 0

#1030267 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:17

Sounds like a completely legit experimental process. Now, how are those sandwiches coming?

Adamantoise | 0

#1030280 - Monday 14 June 2010 19:23

God, those sandwich jokes used to be funny, now they're just annoying. Everyone gets the point already.

McLovin101x | 0

#1030337 - Monday 14 June 2010 20:20

I agree, completely legit. They have the Pepsi Challenge, now it's time for the Prozac Challenge.

RedPillSucks | 31

#1030414 - Monday 14 June 2010 23:00

Agreed,
Almost makes you wish for the Soviet Russia jokes
*runs for cover, dodging rotten tomatoes*