Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML
Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML
Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML
Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
Today, while arguing with my husband, I asked him what was making him so angry. He threw a spoon at the kitchen floor and yelled, “I AM NOT ANGRY!!!!” FML
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Top comments
augiedd 12
Any little victory helps
Welshite 40
Don't listen to the lies they feed you. Ketchup is a vegetable and mustard is a fruit!
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Comments (122)
tbro47 23
No no no it can't be. My life is a lie.
gracehi 33
Celebrate your glorious victory with fries and ketchup! That'll really get those joy juices flowin'!
tranced_ 45
aah happiness at its best. .
weveallbeenthere 30
wait, its not. lol. glad you feel better
davikiin 6
Ketchup is actually a fruit smoothie.
VinnyV 3
So true
joeyl2008 29
Sounds like he just stated that "ketchup is a fruit" which isn't starting an argument. You started the argument by trying to prove him wrong.
Ki11erC 18
I think you need to read the FML again...
NotGabe 28
It's the small things that count. Good on ya, OP.
breakinlegs 19
I feel bad for your husband. It must be hard on him to be around you and your only joy comes from putting him down.
sammyjanette 17
Sorry, but someone arguing that ketchup is a vegetable deserves some swift and immediate correction. It's not like OP doesn't feel badly about it. If she didn't we wouldn't even be reading this FML. She has depression. It's not something she can control.
breakinlegs 19
I never said a word that thinking a tomato is a fruit is smart. I did bring up a good point that people who live with people who have illness like depression often struggle even more than person who has depression.
KiaKarma 11
Struggle even MORE than the person with the illness? You must not have any mental illnesses. Good for you.
mikbrooke 25
my mother has depression, and no, none of my family have EVER struggled more than she does. its ridiculous to even think the ones who live with it struggle more.
stargirl_95 24
From that ridiculously ignorant comment, I'm going to guess that not only do you not have depression but you don't have any mental illness at all. You have NO IDEA what depression is like. I nearly lost my sister to depression and while it was difficult watching her being that way I knew that what I was going through was not even close to what she was going through. People who don't have a mental illness have no idea what it's like to have one and definitely do not suffer nearly as much as those who do.
mikbrooke 25
#77, if you are talking to me, my saying its ridiculous to think that those who live with it struggle more means those who live with the person who has depression. not the actual person with depression.
stargirl_95 24
I was talking to #56
DanielleinDC 34
It must be even harder to be the one suffering from depression where the only joy you get is winning a stupid argument.
Shadowbay 18
I think everyone feels a certain joy when they win an argument so enjoy it a little
mosquito19 14
yeah, and heroine is completely fat free
marcranger 29
Marvel or DC heroines? Ah, who am I kidding, none of 'em has a molecule of cellulite!