By Heinz - 08/08/2012 04:19 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 160
You deserved it 2 824

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You should just walk into a random McDonalds and say you forgot to ask for ketchup for your meal. Free ketchup, free happiness, free Carl.


Just don't eat too much or you might get cancer!

Eat what you like, anything can give you cancer.

What about actually eating cancer? Surely there is a double standard where eating cancer cancels out receiving cancer from it? On a separate note, try saying "cancer cancels cancer" five times fast

You never know these days. I read that it's actually good against cancer because of the lycopene which is an antioxidant made more bio-available by the cooking of tomatoes.

Just to clear things up, this is a reference to an FML posted a while back.

leilaostara 1

Tomatoes decrease the risk of cancer, you dumb shit.

Yeah, sorry guys. That was a reference. I should've put that in parenthesis or something.

Today, the highlight of my day was that the person who attacked me didn't use a name-brand hockey stick to do it with and it broke across my back, ending the attack prematurely.

You should just walk into a random McDonalds and say you forgot to ask for ketchup for your meal. Free ketchup, free happiness, free Carl.

My aunt used to go to McDonalds and put a bit of her own hair in her food, and then she'd get a free burger.

Imagine if she had used all her hair. She would acquire so many burgers then she could open her own second hand mcburger shop and undercut McDonald's prices.

lenamartinovic 13

Or if you live where I live & they charge you 30¢ for KETCHUP.

Due to the fact there is no profile comment system, I just have to say that I LOVE Castle and your profile pic has just made my day. In other words it better have been Heinz. Other ketchup is nasty. (Yes I'm from Pittsburgh)

BlueHairKid 11

My sister is a ketchup addict. She once told me that Mcdonalds makes it's own brand of ketchup. She even showed me how Heinz and Mcdonalds ketchup are two different shades of red.

brevolorio 5

When I travel ketchup here in Europe at McDonald is freaken 50£ cent that's 1$ in American money for small half fill packet

sunnyt 5

Yes! I can finally afford Heinz! Score.

Jeez! Is this comment a sign of the times or what!? Wonder when the economy will improve?

Zoh_Aubrey 8

Everything in my kitchen is Great Value! Yay Wal-Mart!

twisted_cherub 14

Not everything I have is Great Value. My bathroom is full of Equate products. Although, there is one name-brand I buy a lot--Maruchan. Seriously though, I don't compromise on TP, razors, or ranch dressing. Everything else I buy cheap. Why spend more if I don't have to?

I'm not quite up to great value yet, I buy all my groceries from Aldi

Walmart great value is expensive.. We shop at Aldis

twisted_cherub 14

Don't know what Aldis is. When I had better options I shopped at H.E.B., but here it's Wal*Mart or Super Save. Super Save is more expensive and owned by a shady, sexually-harassing dirt-bag. I could drive 23 miles for an Albertson's, but it would still cost way more plus the gas.

JurassicHole 5

I voted "YDI", because OP you deserve to have name brand ketchup. Even though they all taste the same...but still! You deserved that brand name ketchup.

twisted_cherub 14

Wow. I got thumbed down for not having better grocery stores in my town. That's....something.

jellycorn 13

Sometimes my comments get deleted and I have no clue why...

brevolorio 5

From the words of Dave Chappell " I'm rich bitch I can now buy ketchup"

Think of all the great foods you can put that on. If I had a nickle for every time one of my comments was deleted, I'd be able to afford brand-name ketchup too.

One of my comments got deleted just because I said giggity...Giggity.

krylonpony 3

Ah, memories. I remember I loved ketchup with my fries at any fast food place. My little self trying to reach for the ketchup packs on the supply table as I called out "Mom-my!, Mom-my! Need condom-mints!" and I'd always get those awkward stares from the teenage staff and customers.

Sometimes it's the small victories we enjoy the most.